#it was the most intense connection of my life
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insidekatmind · 12 hours ago
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Stuck with you- alejandro balde
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The stadium echoed with the cheers of fans and the distant hum of post-match celebrations. You adjusted your jacket and made your way to the elevators, the badge on your wrist granting you VIP access. The match had been intense. Your father's team, FC Barcelona, had fought hard, and as usual, your father, Xavi, had been on the sidelines barking orders like a maestro directing an orchestra. You loved watching him coach — it reminded you of the passion that once connected you to football… and someone else.
The elevator doors slid open with a soft chime, and your heart froze.Alejandro.
He stood inside, his arms crossed, his dark eyes narrowing slightly as he noticed you. His hair was damp, probably from a shower after the match. He still looked the same — tall, athletic, with that same brooding intensity that once drew you in like a moth to a flame.
You hesitated, considering taking the stairs, but time was not on your side. Your father would be waiting.
Taking a deep breath, you stepped into the elevator. The doors slid shut behind you, sealing you in a tight, awkward space with your ex. The air grew heavy with tension.
The silence was deafening.
Alejandro shifted his weight, his gaze fixed on the elevator doors, refusing to acknowledge you. The hum of the elevator filled the void between you both.
Suddenly, the elevator shuddered, and the lights flickered before plunging into dim emergency lighting. The elevator jolted to a stop.
Alejandro sighed sharply. "Infierno sangriento," he muttered under his breath, his voice low and rough.
You watched as he clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. He closed his eyes, jaw tightening with frustration.
"You’ve got to be kidding me," you said, crossing your arms. "Of course, it had to happen now."
Alejandro opened his eyes and finally looked at you. His gaze softened for a moment before hardening again. "Fate has a twisted sense of humor."
You snorted. "Fate? Or just bad luck?"
Silence stretched again, the only sound being the occasional creak of the elevator cables.
"You were watching the game," he stated, not a question, but a fact.
"Yeah," you admitted. "I was here for my dad."
"Of course," he said, looking away. "Xavi’s daughter. Always his biggest fan."
"And you? Still chasing the ball around like it’s your whole world?"
Alejandro turned to you sharply, his dark eyes blazing. "It is my whole world. Football is the only thing that’s ever made sense to me."
"Right," you said, your voice laced with sarcasm. "Because it’s easier to love something that won’t leave you."
He flinched, but his gaze didn’t waver. "You think I didn’t love you?"
You swallowed hard, heart pounding. "You loved football more."
Alejandro took a step closer, his presence overwhelming in the small space. "Don’t pretend you didn’t understand. Football is my life. You knew that from the start."
"And I was supposed to just come second?" you shot back, your voice rising. "I gave you everything, and you gave me scraps."
He shook his head, frustration etched on his face. "It wasn’t scraps. You had all of me — everything I could give."
You laughed bitterly. "Except your time. Except your presence. Except your heart when I needed it most."
Alejandro ran a hand through his hair, pacing the small space. "You knew what you were signing up for."
"And you knew I needed more," you whispered, pain lacing your words.
He stopped pacing, standing in front of you. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"But you did," you said quietly. "Over and over again."
The elevator jolted slightly, making you both stumble. Alejandro instinctively reached out, his hand brushing yours. The touch sent a jolt through you — a reminder of what once was.
You pulled your hand away, wrapping your arms around yourself.
"You’re different," he said softly, studying you.
"So are you," you replied. "Maybe it’s for the best."
"Is it?" His voice was barely a whisper, filled with something raw and unspoken.
You met his gaze, seeing the conflict in his eyes. "I don’t know."
The elevator shuddered again, and with a mechanical whir, it resumed its slow ascent. The lights flickered back to life, casting the two of you in harsh brightness.
Alejandro exhaled deeply, stepping back. "We’ve both changed."
"Yeah," you agreed. "But some things don’t."
The elevator dinged, signaling your arrival. The doors slid open, revealing the familiar hallway leading to your father’s room.
You stepped out, pausing to glance back at Alejandro.
"Goodbye, Alejandro."
He nodded, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips. "Goodbye."
The doors closed, leaving you standing alone in the hallway, heart heavy with the weight of the past.
As you made your way toward your father’s room, you couldn’t shake the lingering presence of Alejandro — or the question that echoed in your mind.
Was it really goodbye?
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fancyperfectionsweets · 3 days ago
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Ketu (South Node) in synastry 🏚️
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The last time I did an astrology observation, a lot of people were curious about South Node synastry. I'm making a seperate post about it. Please keep in mind that the house themes also play a role here so check them too.
☀️ Ketu-Sun synastry: This synastry is where the Ketu person reprsents a darker emotional side of the sun. They do and speak what the sun wants to say. The sun person usually holds back on these words because it'll be "socially unacceptable". The non-chalance of ketu attracts sun. Very similar to sun-ascendant aspect. The connection feels fated. However, the sun is the one creating this effect on the ketu person. The ketu person can feel truly understood.
🌜Ketu-moon aspects: you know the on and off couple? The one that dates around but ends up together after all? Or where they say that the other one is never off their mind because the person feels like "home"? Yep, that's what this synastry is. The ketu person just unlocks a portion of "home" and "comfort" in moon's head and it's absolutely bonkers from there. This synastry can also prove painful if the ketu person doesn't reciprocate because why are you making the moon feel things when you don't want to keep her??
🗣️ Mercury-ketu in synastry: this is more tricky but if "you just always know how to say the right words" was a synastry, this would be it. I have this with my boyfriend and he's literally the most comforting person ever 🥺. He knows what to say at the right time even though he's super blunt. For some reason, I just cannot find fault in his words. Also, a good placement if your turn on is dirty talk.
🧨 Mars-Ketu synastry: how do I explain this synastry when the only thing i can think of is "I'll beat the crap out of you". And no, ketu isn't feeling this way here. Mars is. Even in harmonious relationships, the Mars person can feel this urge to tussle with ketu. Rile ketu up for a reaction. The ketu person could be just minding their business while the mars person is sitting there thinking "hmm, can I get a rise out of this mf?" 😂😂.
Now this synastry can go either way. It can be 1) I'm going to make him/her so mad, they'd wanna spank me harder today 😈 or 2) yeah, I WANT to pick up a fight just cause 🙂🔪. Be careful. The second one can get toxic pretty soon.
💅 Venus-ketu synastry: this one I talked about previously. Venus-ketu is the most "I was fated to meet this person" placement ever. Ketu activates venus like nothing. House themes matter here a lot, btw. Because venus will activate according to the house theme. I had a ketu-venus synastry with a friend and she used to just pop up in my dreams randomly. I have a 12th house Venus. 12th house is the house of the hidden: dreams, alternate reality, spirituality. It was annoying because why you hijacking my dreams to love you harder?? 🤨
🔮 Jupiter-ketu synastry: has anyone told you that you're lucky for them? You probably had this conjunction with them. The ketu person not only feels fated but feels "lucky" to jupiter. Jupiter wants to keep ketu in their life because they just make things feel mystical and magical (for the better, of course). This placement can breed obsession from jupiter's end if they aren't careful.
🪐 Saturn-ketu: unpopular opinion but to me, this spells as a long term connection indicator. And no, I don't mean positive. Since Saturn is a "slow" planet, it takes a bit of time for it to get activated in any dynamic. However, once it does, it can sort of create a push and pull. The saturn might look to "dominate" ketu in this aspect. For example, if you have this conjunction in the 2nd house, Saturn person may think that you're too idealistic and don't care about your savings and then try to "guide" you. The ketu person though, might see saturn as too intense and want to show saturn how being anxious about savings has it's downsides. This relationship does have the potential to grow but in my personal opinion, this placement should be aspected with other positive synastries because it can effect long term themes of the relationship.
👹 Ketu-ketu synastry: This is the "I get why you're like this" synastry. I have this with my best friend and her habits make sense to me somehow? Even her "I just did it cause" things make sense to me. This is a very ride or die placement. I love this more with friends though cause you can go through periods of detachment and still fall back to the same place like nothing changed.
🌀 Pluto-ketu: the pluto person is left thinking"why did I like you almost instantly? What is this magic?". The ketu person could be openly intimidated and interested in pluto. However, pluto's first instinct is to be attracted and then left questioning as to why. Ketu isn't their type exactly so why do I feel this way? Could be so cute if they take time to get to know each other and then start the relationship.
👯 Ketu-Rahu synastry: "why are you so obsessed with me?" Placement. Lol. This is like meeting one of those people who you don't understand why they like you? You just don't get it as the ketu person. Rahu has their set of reasons. But the ketu person is always secretly thinking. I mean.. I don't see your point? Ketu can also feel bad about this at times. However, once you push through, ketu can actually have aspects it likes about Rahu and keep it around for the "vibes".
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purinipod · 2 days ago
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what would dating them be like? pt. 3
ft. choso and ino
author’s note: part one | part two
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𐙚 choso kamo
• first impressions: choso seems like someone who is constantly overthinking everything. he doesn’t know how to act around you at first, which only makes him more endearing. he’s not awkward in a clumsy way, but more like he’s unsure of how much to share or how much to keep to himself. his deep, intense eyes reflect a lot of thought and emotion, but he holds back his more vulnerable side until he feels you out.
• dates: choso enjoys simple, calming dates where there’s room to just be. he’ll take you to a cat cafe or a little-known park, somewhere peaceful where the two of you can talk or sit in comfortable silence. he might bring you a book he’s reading or share something he finds interesting, slowly inviting you into his world. there’s no rush—just slow, sweet moments of connection.
• pet names: choso’s pet names are soft and unassuming, like “moon,” “baby” or “sweetie.” he doesn’t like anything too over-the-top, preferring something gentle that feels intimate but not overwhelming. the way he says them makes you feel like you’re the only one he’s ever said it to.
• interactions: choso has a calm energy that helps ground you. he’s the type who listens intently to everything you say, even the small details. his affection shows in the way he looks at you, his hand subtly brushing yours, or how he’ll just sit next to you, letting silence speak for itself. he doesn’t rush into things, but when he’s with you, you feel valued.
• what you argue about: your arguments usually stem from his overprotectiveness and the way he bottles up his emotions. he gets frustrated when he can’t find a way to protect you from everything—whether it’s physical or emotional—and sometimes he ends up pushing you away when he feels overwhelmed. you argue when he refuses to open up about his own struggles, shutting down emotionally instead of sharing with you. you just want him to lean on you, but it takes him a while to realize it’s okay to do that.
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𐙚 ino takuma
• first impressions: ino gives off a laid-back, easygoing vibe that’s hard not to like. having grown up together, it feels like he’s always been around, which makes him seem comfortable and familiar. but even with that comfort, he still has a quiet intensity that makes you feel special. it’s clear he cares deeply, even if he doesn’t always show it in the most obvious ways.
• dates: ino’s idea of a date is thoughtful and full of the little things. he’s the type to put together gift baskets filled with all your favorite snacks, books, or little trinkets that show he listens and remembers every detail. one of his favorite dates is a trip to the aquarium, where you can get lost in the beauty of the sea life and enjoy each other’s company in a peaceful, mesmerizing setting. he also loves taking you for a picnic, where he’ll pack your favorite foods and set up a cozy spot in the park, so you can relax together and just talk for hours. for ino, it’s all about creating moments that are intimate, relaxing, and full of connection.
• pet names: ino’s pet names are sweet and endearing, often things like “babe,” “princes” or “cutie.” he’s not overly extravagant, but the way he says them always sounds warm and genuine. sometimes he’ll call you “my girl,” a little reminder that you’re the one he turns to no matter what.
• interactions: with ino, everything feels easy and natural, but there’s always this undercurrent of affection. he’s the kind of boyfriend who constantly checks in with you, asking if you’re okay or if you need anything, just because he wants to make sure you’re happy. he’s always doing little things for you—whether it’s grabbing your favorite drink or pulling out the chair for you at dinner. his love language is acts of service, and you feel it in every thoughtful gesture.
• what you argue about: the biggest source of tension is when ino sometimes acts like you’re still just friends, especially in front of others. it’s like he forgets that you’re more than that, and while he doesn’t mean to hurt you, it can feel like he’s not fully acknowledging the depth of your relationship. he’ll make jokes about how “we’re best friends since birth basically” or forget to refer to you as his partner, leaving you feeling a little sidelined. this usually leads to arguments about him not being fully present as a boyfriend, even though his actions show he cares. you’d remind him that being affectionate and open about your relationship is important to you, even if it’s hard for him to adjust from the friendship zone.
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@purinipod pls don’t steal any of my work
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writingwisterias · 4 hours ago
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how would eras of leon respond to jealousy/yearning with sex?
Hi Anon!
Thanks for the request...I had a lot of fun thinking about this one 👀
Ok ok I'm cracking down on requests! I promise I needed a day to recover from work 💗
Warnings: NSFW, Yearning, Jealousy, Sexual Tension, MNDI
GN!Reader
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RE2:
Just for something different, I'm doing a no Apocalypse AU for this one
You sit opposite him, your desks are connected. You were always so kind to him compared to the other officers
Both of you always get along well when you are paired for patrol etc
But he's not the only one that has eyes on you, every other officer seems to as well
He hates feeling jealous that the other officers are talking to you, touching you as they past and you are entertaining them?
There's a staff party and everyone is buying you drinks and chatting, he barely has a chance to speak to you. After all you are his only friend
What he didn't know is you are frustrated from all the attention and you are just trying to get to Leon
When you finally reach him, he's in a mood and it doesn't take long for you to realize hes jealous.
Maybes it's the drinks in your system or the small crush you have on him bubbling in your chest. But you kiss him
He's shocked at first, but recovers fast. His lips are desperate
Spots all the officers back off when he kisses you, so then his touch becomes possessive claiming you as his.
He'll make sure he's the only one you think about when you both leave and he takes you home. 👀
RE4R:
He's touched starved so anyone even approaches you with the intention of sex he's immediately jealous
He's confident enough that you won't go for someone else, even if you aren't exclusive but he'll be pissed off for a while
His jealous would come out in the form of silence,
like he's giving you the silence treatment until you figure out what's wrong and fix it
I think he would probably insert himself into the situation but more of him being a presence there than actually joining in...again silent treatment.
If you don't give him attention he's very heavy with eye contact, constantly trying to get you in his eyeline so he can watch you
Infinite darkness:
The most verbal about being jealous,
like he will pull you away and probably whisper to you how you are making him jealous
Longer touches as well, on your hip or lower back..he's making sure you notice it's there
I think he'll just constantly remind you of his presence until you eventually cave
To make him jealous it would be entertaining other people in an awkward conversation, like if someones asking you to dinner or whatever and your reply is "I'll have a look at my schedule" or "let me get back to you"
You probably aren't going to do either of those things but Leon doesn't like it, he'll make sure your schedule is full of him
Damnation:
I like the idea that he doesn't care enough to get jealous, like if you don't want him he will accept defeat and it will add to the list of other things wrong with his life
But he won't hide the fact he wants you
I imagine it's a situation where he's rough with everyone but you
The rest of his department constantly digs at him for this, it makes you blush when you finally notice it
Heavy eye contact on you, like constantly watching what you are doing around the office etc
It's when you are on a mission together that you finally cave and give him what he wants, and you definitely don't regret it
RE6:
I think he would be in the same boat as damnation where he doesn't really get jealous but he does show that he wants you
With his intense scenes with Ada as well he would make it even more prominent that he wants you
Whenever it's to show Ada that he's moved on or it's to show you that he still wants you
That's up to you
But he's going to make it known that there's nothing to worry about, he's smart enough to understand how him caring for Ada might seem he's still hung up on her
Vendetta:
I like the idea of you being a bartender at the bar he constantly visits
He enjoys your attention and sympathy, often having long chats about anything but his work
As soon as someone needs you though or you turn to serve another customer he's instantly jealous
You want him too, it's obvious. But not drunk and in the state of mind he's in
You understand that he would be good with that commitment and probably a loving partner but he needs to heal first
You put up with his drunken exclamations how he loves you and wants you, his constant staring and snarling at other customers
It's cute that he wants you that badly but until he sobers up and shows some signs of self improvement you won't do it
It does increase the heat from him, but he'll be thankful when he does eventually get sober
Death Island:
Super super jealous
Like you are an angel in his eyes why are you hanging out with someone else?
Why are you talking to one of his co workers? You don't need to entertain that asshole you are his
You aren't actually though, not yet
Both of you tip toeing on this line of friends and lovers
A game of seeing who caves first
He does, pressing you into a kiss that you can't forget. It was rushed after he had a close call with the virus.
Yet it leaves you logging for more, he's just waiting until you finally admit it to him
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the-cosmic-cauldron · 17 hours ago
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☽𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕊𝕚𝕘𝕟 & 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕣𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕣 ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕕 ☾
Welcome to 10 Days, 10 Posts from The Cosmic Cauldron! Over the next ten days, I’ll be sharing a blend of astrology and tarot posts, each designed to spark your curiosity and guide your journey. If you find my content interesting, fascinating, or engaging, be sure to click the follow button for more! Ready to dive deeper into your personal journey? Head to my homepage and book a reading — you won’t regret it.
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☾ 𝒜𝓇𝒾ℯ𝓈 ℳℴℴ𝓃
An Aries Moon doesn’t typically desire to have children due to their strong sense of independence and fast-paced nature. When it comes to their emotions, Aries Moons are not the most patient—they don’t like to dwell on feelings or spend much time processing them. They’re also not naturally inclined toward self-compassion, often being hard on themselves.
Because of this, an Aries Moon may feel they would struggle with the emotional demands of parenting. They might worry about being too tough on a child or failing to provide the kind of emotional support a child needs. As a result, an Aries Moon doesn’t usually see parenthood as a natural fit for their personality.
However, there are exceptions. Aries Moons are ruled by Mars, which governs passion and intimacy. When deeply in love, an Aries Moon may feel inspired to have children, especially since their Mars-driven energy often leads them to seek physical closeness and intimacy frequently. In such cases, if they believe their partner would be a good parent or that their partner balances their own emotional tendencies, they may decide to start a family.
Interestingly, Aries Moons are not naturally drawn to the nurturing, emotional aspects of motherhood. However, Aries Moon men may be more open to fatherhood. The idea of leading a family and taking on a protective, leadership role aligns with the fiery and ambitious energy of this placement. This makes fatherhood more appealing to them than the emotionally intensive aspects of parenting.
☾𝒯𝒶𝓊𝓇𝓊𝓈 ℳℴℴ𝓃
A Taurus Moon typically has a strong desire to become a parent, largely because they are natural nurturers who enjoy giving and caring for others. This nurturing energy often seeks an outlet, and the most traditional vessel for that is raising children. Taurus Moons, especially women, are often drawn to the idea of parenthood for this reason.
The energy of Taurus is ruled by practicality, which means many Taurus Moons view having children as a natural extension of a relationship or a fulfilling part of building a family. They may also see raising children as an opportunity to nurture and guide them into becoming healthy, well-rounded adults, or to provide experiences they themselves may not have had growing up.
Taurus Moons are especially likely to want children when they are in love. They enjoy the idea of extending the love they share with their partner to a child, creating balance and harmony within the relationship. For them, the connection between parenthood and love is deeply fulfilling.
In addition, Taurus Moons are drawn to parenthood when they feel stable. This stability doesn’t necessarily mean being wealthy or having every aspect of life figured out. Instead, it’s about being in a comfortable, steady routine where they are financially secure and content with their day-to-day life. Taurus Moons thrive when they are preoccupied with meaningful tasks, and raising a child fits perfectly into their desire for purpose and responsibility.
Men with a Taurus Moon also have a nurturing side and are likely to want children. They often see parenthood as a natural step in a serious relationship, thinking, “She could be the mother of my child.” Taurus Moon men are drawn to the essence of family and enjoy the grounding, fulfilling experience of building a close-knit unit of their own. The idea of having a family brings them a deep sense of stability and belonging.
☾𝒢ℯ𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒾 ℳℴℴ𝓃
Gemini Moons have a 50-50 split when it comes to wanting to be parents. Some Gemini Moons are not interested in parenthood at all, primarily because they value their freedom and love living in the moment. They enjoy the ability to be spontaneous and on the go, and they don’t want to feel confined by the responsibilities of parenting. For these individuals, the idea of having children just doesn’t align with their desire for independence and restlessness.
However, there are also Gemini Moons who find parenthood incredibly intriguing. They are curious about the process of raising a child and are fascinated by how their child will turn out. These individuals often see parenting as a unique experience and are interested in approaching it in an unconventional way. They may want to channel their own personalities into their parenting style, aiming to be unique or “out-of-the-box” parents. For these Gemini Moons, the idea of parenthood becomes appealing due to their curiosity and the desire to explore this new and exciting role.
☾𝒞𝒶𝓃𝒸ℯ𝓇 ℳℴℴ𝓃
Cancer Moons usually want to be parents because they are natural homebodies who love the comfort of their homes. They take pleasure in creating a beautiful and cozy environment and enjoy spending time there. Children often spark their interest because Cancer Moons are inherently nurturing. They have a deep desire to care for and nurture something, and children represent a traditional way to channel that nurturing energy. Many Cancer Moons also want to connect emotionally with their children, especially if they had their own emotions dismissed growing up or didn’t feel they were treated in the way they desired. For these individuals, parenthood is an opportunity to reinvent parenting and be the kind of parent who not only nurtures a child with practical support but also offers emotional care, protection, and a strong presence. They aim to listen to, connect with, and truly show up for their child.
However, some Cancer Moons may choose not to have children, especially if they feel emotionally unstable. Because Cancer Moons are highly emotional beings, if they believe their emotions are too unbalanced to provide the stability a child needs, they may decide against parenthood. A Cancer Moon desires to be a great parent, and if they feel their emotional state is not conducive to that, they will hesitate to bring a child into the world.
Both Cancer Moon men and women generally want to be parents, as they crave the deep emotional connection with their children. The presence of children and the idea of having a family often make Cancer Moons feel more complete and fulfilled.
☾ℒℯℴ ℳℴℴ𝓃
A Leo Moon will definitely want to have a family, as Leo is all about close-knit connections and feeling validated by those around them. For many Leo Moons, parenthood is a highly validating experience. It allows them to feel a sense of accomplishment, particularly if they didn’t succeed in certain areas of life. They often see having a child as an opportunity to support and nurture that child’s growth, helping them succeed, bloom, and feel creative. Leo Moons are naturally inclined toward parenthood because they want to guide their children to achieve greatness.
However, there is a small percentage of Leo Moons who may struggle with parenthood. Leo Moons can sometimes crave being the center of attention and might feel that a child will divert attention away from them or their relationship with a partner. In these cases, they might delay having children to fully enjoy their time with their partner or focus on themselves. They may fear that having a child without having these experiences first could lead them to preoccupy themselves with personal desires, rather than being fully present and supportive for their child.
Overall, though, Leo Moons do desire to have children. They view parenthood as a positive and fulfilling experience. Given that the Sun, their ruling planet, represents fatherhood, many Leo Moon men especially see fatherhood as a significant and rewarding part of life.
☾𝒱𝒾𝓇𝑔ℴ ℳℴℴ𝓃
A Virgo Moon typically doesn’t want to have children, and the reason is that Virgo Moons are not necessarily focused on service within the family context. They tend to be more service-oriented in their work, school, or other responsibilities. Unlike Cancer Moons, who are naturally nurturing and motherly towards children and family, Virgo Moons are more likely to show up and perform at a job or take on responsibilities. They are humble, adaptable, and willing to compromise in those areas, as they are a mutable sign.
However, when it comes to their personal lives, Virgo Moons are more introverted and detached at times, as they tend to be very analytical rather than emotionally engaged. A Virgo Moon would typically only want to become a parent if they were in a stable relationship and felt prepared for children. For a Virgo Moon, having the necessary stability in their life is essential before they would consider having a child.
Virgo Moons are also likely to become parents even if they don’t initially want to, simply because they are adaptable. If their partner wants children, they may be the type to go along with it, especially since they can have self-sacrificial tendencies and are generally inclined to be of service to others. However, they don’t naturally yearn for children. They are more preoccupied with their routines and don’t feel a strong urge to become parents on their own.
That said, if they’re in a good relationship and feel that having children is the next step, they will likely have children. But Virgo Moons are not typically drawn to parenthood as a natural desire.
☾ℒ𝒾𝒷𝓇𝒶 ℳℴℴ𝓃
Libra Moons are likely to want to be parents, and the reason is that they often see their children as friends. Libra Moons are very social beings, and in this placement, they are even more social because emotionally, they like to talk about their feelings and seek harmony in their relationships. Even if a Libra Moon initially didn’t want children, their verbal nature and desire for harmony would likely lead them to go along with the idea. If they feel that having children would bring harmony to their relationship or life, they would be open to the idea.
Additionally, because Libra is a cardinal sign, they are more likely to take the initiative and express a desire to have children. With Libra being ruled by Venus, which is associated with relationships, Libra Moons often feel more at peace when they’re in a relationship than when they’re single. This constant seeking of connection may lead them to want children, as they idealize the concept of family. Even if they were initially against having children, they might eventually decide to have one, as they crave the peace and balance that a family could bring.
Furthermore, Libra Moons are ruled by Venusian energy, which is centered around love, beauty, and giving. This energy makes them feel fulfilled when they can nurture and give to others. A Libra Moon might feel that having a child is a way to channel this nurturing energy and offer love and care in a way that aligns with their desire to give and nurture those they love.
☾𝒮𝒸ℴ𝓇𝓅𝒾ℴ ℳℴℴ𝓃
A Scorpio Moon can be a bit tricky when it comes to wanting children. Many Scorpio Moons may not feel ready for parenthood because they carry a lot of unresolved trauma and deep, intense emotions. Their life experiences tend to be very intense, and some may feel apprehensive about having children. There’s often a fear surrounding parenthood, especially given the vulnerability involved in pregnancy and childbirth. For many, the thought of holding a child and the emotional and physical shifts that come with parenting can feel daunting.
Scorpio Moons already deal with emotional imbalances, such as depression, sadness, and heavy emotions. As a result, some may be afraid of experiencing postpartum depression or the emotional changes that come with becoming a parent. There may be a fear of not being able to show up for their child in the way they want to, given their emotional complexity. For some Scorpio Moons, the idea of having a child might lead them to consider alternatives like surrogacy or IVF, as they might not want to carry the child themselves due to these fears.
However, there are also Scorpio Moons who are deeply passionate about having children. These individuals may feel that they haven’t experienced true love in their lives and see a child as a source of unconditional love, something they feel they’ve been missing in their own relationships. For them, having a child may fill a void and provide the deep connection they long for. So, for Scorpio Moons, it’s really a 50/50 situation—some may want children, while others may be more hesitant or fearful.
☾𝒮𝒶𝑔𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓊𝓈 ℳℴℴ𝓃
I would say that Sagittarius Moons are also very 50-50 when it comes to having children. For some Sagittarius Moons, they are so on the go, always engaged in new adventures, interests, and traveling, that the idea of having children doesn’t really cross their minds. They are constantly stimulated by new experiences, and for some of them, the thought of having a child feels limiting to their freedom. They may even think that if they were to get someone pregnant, they wouldn’t stick around for the pregnancy because they’re focused on their own pursuits. For Sagittarius Moon men, they might prefer doing their own thing, while for women, some may feel like motherhood would be too restrictive, as they crave the freedom to enjoy life and travel.
However, there’s another side to Sagittarius Moons that really embraces the idea of having children. Some see themselves as children at heart and get excited around kids. They enjoy being around children, having fun with them, and often think of parenthood as a fun adventure rather than something serious or deep. For these Sagittarius Moons, having a child doesn’t require a deep commitment or a stable relationship with someone. They may not even feel the need to be married or have a traditional family setup, as they view having children as a source of joy and a new, exciting chapter in their lives. They see children as a blessing and an opportunity for more happiness and adventure, and they want to experience it.
☾𝒞𝒶𝓅𝓇𝒾𝒸ℴ𝓇𝓃 ℳℴℴ𝓃
With Capricorn Moons, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. While many Capricorn Moons may not desire to be parents, a significant number of them do. Here’s why: Some Capricorn Moons can be very dark, deep, and reserved. They carry a lot of wounds and trauma, and they often feel emotionally restrained. For these individuals, the idea of having children may not appeal to them at all—it can seem like just another responsibility to take on, which doesn’t excite them. They may prefer to dedicate their lives to themselves, even if it seems selfish, rather than take on the responsibility of raising a child.
However, for other Capricorn Moons, the desire to have children is tied to their drive for accomplishment. These individuals often seek a sense of fulfillment in life, and for some, part of that fulfillment comes from having a family. For them, having children aligns with their vision of a successful, traditional life. They may feel like they haven’t fully accomplished what they set out to do if they don’t have children. It’s not so much that having children is their main goal, but more that it’s an integral part of their overall life goals. For these Capricorn Moons, becoming a parent is something they may feel compelled to do in order to feel that they’ve truly achieved the life they desire.
☾ 𝒜𝓆𝓊𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓊𝓈 ℳℴℴ𝓃
Aquarius Moons typically want children when they feel surrounded by a supportive community. This is when they are most likely to desire parenthood, as Aquarians are independent but also enjoy being part of groups and communities. While it may not always be about family, they feel that a child can bring blessings to their environment. Aquarius Moons often see the bigger picture, thinking about how having a child could impact not just themselves, but others, such as making their parents grandparents or their siblings uncles or aunts. This sense of community and connection can inspire them to want children.
However, many Aquarius Moons may not want children because they tend to live somewhat erratic lives. Their emotional state can be unpredictable, which makes them hesitant about the consistency and stability required in parenthood. They value their freedom and may not want to feel tied down to the responsibilities of being a parent.
For the Aquarius Moon individuals who do decide to become parents, their approach is often unconventional. Their parenting style might be unique, and they may be somewhat disciplinary, as Aquarius is a fixed sign ruled by Saturn and Uranus. These placements can make them more rigid, but also prone to sudden shifts in behavior or unpredictability. Aquarius Moon men may be more likely to embrace parenthood than women, as women with this placement can come across as strict or cold, influenced by Saturn’s restrictive energy. However, the unpredictable nature of Uranus can lead to sudden changes in their parenting style, making it challenging to maintain consistency.
☾𝒫𝒾𝓈𝒸ℯ𝓈 ℳℴℴ𝓃
Pisces Moons are likely to want to be parents because they have an abundance of unconditional love to give. They seek a place where this love can be expressed, and they often feel that the innocence of a child is most deserving of their compassion, empathy, and care. Pisces Moons are deeply sensitive beings, and they tend to want to connect with their children on a profound level, getting into their children’s minds and hearts. For many Pisces Moons, the desire to be a parent feels like a natural extension of their loving, giving nature.
However, for some Pisces Moons, especially those who have experienced significant struggles, such as being escapist, dealing with addiction, or struggling with practicality in life, the desire to be a parent may not emerge. If a Pisces Moon is in a state where they feel lost, neglected, or stuck in a cycle of despair, they may not want children. In these cases, they might recognize that they cannot offer the stability or care a child needs, and the idea of neglecting a child would weigh heavily on their conscience. While Pisces Moons naturally have a strong inclination toward parenthood, when they are in a difficult space, it can make it hard for them to desire or pursue that outcome.
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hellishjoel · 3 days ago
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cherry wine
629 words / pairing: oberyn martell x f!reader
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word: fireplace
warnings/information: fluff, descriptions of food, alcohol consumption, the connection to oberyn (partner, wife, friends, unattached, etc.) is up to the reader
a/n: I was thinking and envisioning warmth and immediately thought of our sweet prince of dorne. my banners are by @saradika-graphics. shoutout to @berryispunk and @lady-bess for putting this together on @fanfictionoverload!
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The Prince of Dorne’s golden robes complement the crackling embers of the grand fireplace. 
The months spent planning the Festival of the Long Light had finally come to fruition, as today was the winter solstice celebration to welcome the return of longer days. 
It’s a long-standing Dornish tradition to celebrate with candles, lanterns, and bonfires to symbolize resilience and hope, even during the darkest time of the year. 
Prince Oberyn says that it strengthens the Dornish spirit. It’s ultimately his way of drinking wine from dawn til dusk while the crowds of happy townsfolk gather for archery contests, combat displays with flaming spears and swords, and dining on the winter citrus feast. 
After a day of indulgent celebration, the Prince has succumbed to the heady effects of wine, his sharp wit and natural charisma now softened into a playful blend of teasing flirtation and extravagant storytelling.
“Do you recall how I earned the nickname the Red Viper?” He muses, a lopsided smile on his lips as he leans along decorative pillows with you by his side. 
You take a sip of your warm spiced wine and nod thoughtfully. “I do believe that you will tell me-”
“House Yronwood was one of the most powerful houses in Dorne, only second to House Martell, of course,” he eagerly jumps in with theatrical hand movements, “Our houses have always had a… strained relationship.”
“Treacherous,” you hiccup.
“Yes, often to their family’s wrongful pride and our political dominance.”
“Surely,” you amuse him, both pausing to laugh with the sweet red wine coursing through your veins. 
“During our family gathering, the youngest heir to House Yronwood, Draymond, insulted my family’s honor. I wouldn’t let it stand.”
His eye contact is powerful, amber eyes highlighted by the flickering flames of the fireplace. The wood could use stoking as it hisses and whistles, but Oberyn’s loving hand gliding up and down your side has you in a trance.
“You wouldn’t let it stand, my love.” You agree, Oberyn’s dark head of hair nodding with a distracted lull as he glances to your lips. 
“I ended the duel without delivering a fatal blow, only striking him with a glancing hit. What appeared as a prick had the young heir collapsing hours later, stricken with pain and a fever. I had coated my sword with a non-lethal poison.” Obern smirked around his golden goblet, throwing back what was left of his cinnamon-spiced wine.  
Confusion laces your features, tilting your head with intrigue, your eyes ultimately softening. “You did not aim to kill him.”
The handsome prince found solace in your understanding. “It was never my intention to let it escalate. Some men wield their tongues like weapons—loud, reckless, and prone to stirring trouble. They rarely find peace, nor do those around them. After that... enlightening encounter, the family gave us no further grief. I realized then, if I wished for a peaceful princehood, I had to quell the storm before it could even gather."
Your eyes must appear dazzled and surprised, causing Oberyn to smile back at you. 
"I have lived a life of many adventures," Oberyn begins, his voice low and rich, each word dripping with quiet confidence. "I studied the arts and pleasures of the Free Cities, fought alongside legendary sellswords in Essos, and played dangerous games of power in Volantis." He pauses, his hand rough yet deliberate as it tilts your chin upward, his thumb brushing lightly along your jawline. His gaze, intense and unyielding, meets yours. "But you," he murmurs, his lips curving into a seductive smile, "you are the only adventure I crave now."
His hand, scarred from years of wielding a sword, presses gently against your cheek. It's a tenderness that contrasts with the fierce strength it once knew. His lips are soft and inviting, his tongue lining yours as you taste the cherry wine that still lingers.
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expectantdaddies · 1 day ago
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Batmanuel, also known as the dark knight of Neo Chicago, is a superhero with a secret double life. By day, he plays the role of billionaire playboy Luis del Rio, using his wealth and connections to protect the city from within while maintaining an image that keeps people fooled about his true identity.
As the suave and irresistible Luis, Batmanuel surrounds himself with gorgeous models, actors, and celebrities at exclusive parties and wild orgies. He uses his charm and sexual prowess to seduce them, but this is all part of his act to maintain a convincing cover story for his nighttime crusades against crime and corruption.
Despite his intelligence, wealth, and carefully crafted persona, Batmanuel found himself in an unexpected situation - he became pregnant! However, being the resourceful and prepared hero that he is, he managed to train two capable sidekicks who could temporarily take over his duties during this unusual time. This allowed him to continue fighting for justice without anyone discovering that Neo Chicago's most famous playboy and its dark knight were one and the same.
For now, Batmanuel remains in the shadows of his headquarters, coordinating his sidekicks' missions remotely while he nurtures the growing life inside him. To keep himself in the right mindset, he wears his costume when on monitor duty, albeit one that is especially stretchy for his baby bump. He knows that after giving birth, he will need to undergo an intense fitness regimen to regain his superhero physique and shed any remaining baby weight.
But don't worry, citizens of Neo Chicago - your masked vigilante is far from finished! Batmanuel is determined to bounce back stronger than ever once he's able to resume patrolling the city streets in person. Until then, trust that his tireless sidekicks are keeping watch over you while their master tends to important family business behind the scenes.
If you like my work, Buy Me a Coffee.
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Batmanuel, pregnant superhero.
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hannahbarberra162 · 7 hours ago
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Under the Microscope, Chapter 11 (Yandere Sabo x Reader)
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on Ao3 | The other chapters
Note: I’m keeping Iva’s pronouns the same by chapter for ease of reading.  Also pls, this isn’t realistic science. I barely know what an atom is.
Huge thank you to TDESMC and @gouraminnow <3 <3 <3
Thank you to @kitsunechan707 for hyping me up :3
~
Sunny POV
While the first few days had been rough on your body, the next ones were rough on your spirit. It was difficult to be near Sabo one on one again without Ace as a social buffer. Ace was catching up to the ship and you’d see him soon which couldn’t come fast enough for you. Sabo was behaving like he did when you first met and it left you bewildered and unsure of what to do. You used your anger to ground yourself with the bangle on your wrist reminding you daily of his betrayal of your trust.
You had prepared yourself to face Sabo's wrath or ire but it hadn’t surfaced since his discovery of your misdeed. If anything, Sabo was more amiable and attentive than ever before. He hadn’t asked you for any more kisses or physical affection, though he did leave lingering touches on your skin as often as he was able. You were happy for the reprieve after the kiss he’d made you give him but you were walking on eggshells. The look in his eyes showed you that his intensity hadn’t faded when you continually caught his ever-present stares as you went about your days on the ship.
After the effects of the medicine wore off, Sabo took you on a tour of the ship and introduced you to the RA crew. The ship was bigger than the last though there were only about twenty people aboard, though Koala wasn’t among them. Sabo mentioned she was his closest friend but your only connection to her was her suggestion that Sabo should have killed you. You weren’t so sure you’d want to meet her once you got to the RA base.
Sabo showed you the simple ship with his tour ending at the galley just as breakfast was being served.. You hadn’t seen so many new people since you’d joined your first unit in the Marines and you hadn’t liked the crowds then either. Not only that but Emporio Ivankov was at the back of the galley and she intimidated you beyond compare. Sabo’s hand drifted to the small of your back and pushed you forward as you two began moving toward the back of the galley. Iva’s larger than life personality made her bold and loud as she spoke to people around her. When you and Sabo approached her table you were greeted with a heavy once over that made you step back in an effort to shrink away from her harsh examination. Sabo’s hand on your lower back stymied your attempt to cringe away.
“Now, who is this little lady, Sabo boy? A new lover, perhaps?” Your face flamed as Sabo laughed and walked up to Iva, kissing her on the cheeks. He returned to your side before wrapping his arm around you and leaving his hand on your waist.
“This is Sunny, she was the lead scientist on project Seraphim, although she didn’t know it at the time. She’s also the one who made Ace’s fruit and gave him his powers back,” Sabo explained. You stiffened when Sabo didn’t correct Iva’s assumption about the two of you being lovers, but decided that correction could wait for a different time.
“I-I’m sorry for being so nervous, I’m a huge fan of your work,” you forced out of your throat. Along with Trafalgar Law, Emporio Ivankov published the most interesting scientific articles. Her article about pancreatic insulin deficiencies and the means to solve them was truly groundbreaking. She’d saved thousands of kids’ lives just by publishing the article for the Marines to copy the formula for insulin. You idly wondered if she had any copies on board that she could autograph for you.
“Oh! Which of my shows have you seen?” she said with a wink. Sabo moved to stand slightly in front of you but you were unsure why, a simple wink couldn’t possibly be dangerous.
“Um, no, not the shows. I read all your articles, you’re one of my idols. Your paper about ACTH was part of the reason I became interested in lineage factors to begin with,” you said, trying not to gush too much to your hero.
“Oh ho, that old thing? I can’t show you what I’m working on now, it’s confidential…but I’d love to show you what I’m researching, interesting stuff. You have quite the resume yourself, making a Mera Mera from scratch on a deserted island. Smart girl you got there, Sabo boy. Try not to blow it,” Iva said in dismissal before sauntering off to the deck. You stared after her starry-eyed as she passed through the assorted crew gathered.
“Iva too? Do you know all pirates except Ace and I?” Sabo asked with a raised eyebrow and a grin. You knit your brows in confusion.
“What? No, she’s incredible - most people only know her for her work with sex characteristic hormones - which is beyond compare of course -  but hormones are much more complex than that. She’s revolutionized so many fields of endocrinology, she’s like the Vegapunk of the human body. And, ah, of course, the shows and piracy and all that,” you added at the end in case she could still hear you. You hoped she would stay true to her word and let you see what she was working on. It would be a true honor to be in the presence of Iva and an even bigger honor to see her unpublished research. 
After your introduction to Iva, there were still a lot of other crew to meet in the galley of the ship as Sabo wheeled you around to make introductions. Sabo walked you around the room, introducing you to the assorted RA crew that comprised the ship. You mumbled the appropriate polite words but you couldn’t help the familiar anxiety that rose as you met more and more people. The only reason that you weren’t chewing on your fingernails was because Sabo kept his hand entwined in yours. You didn’t like meeting new people, especially so many at once. You tried your best to remember all their names but they swam in your head after the first five or so. They kept asking the same questions over and over, who you were, where you were from, and how you knew Sabo. Fortunately for you, Sabo took the lead socially and answered most of the questions which left you to answer with only a few words when you needed to. 
It was interesting observing Sabo in this new setting among people he knew well. He greeted everyone with smiles and kisses to the cheeks, side and front hugs, and even a few strong slaps to the back. His grip on you remained but it matched some of the other holds you saw among the RA soldiers, friends holding each other around their waists. They were all an affectionate bunch, so maybe Sabo was acclimating you to their culture with his repeated touches. The RA soldiers greeted you with sharp smiles, like they were pleased to see you but only as long as Sabo was there to vouch for you. 
“Sabo! Your sleeping beauty finally woke up, huh?” someone named Bobby (or maybe Robby?) said with a chuckle while elbowing Sabo. Sabo smiled and patted your arm that was linked in his own with his gloved hand. 
“Something like that. Sunny is very sensitive to seasickness, but outside of rough waters, she’ll be alright. So you’ll see more of her around the ship. Right, Sunny?”
“Y-yeah,” you stammered, and as if on cue, the ship started rocking heavily from side to side. Sabo steadied you once more by wrapping his other arm around you. You were drained socially and emotionally and you wanted to curl back up in your bed and sleep this exhaustion away.
“Hey, you’re pale. Are you alright? Let’s go back to the cabin, you need to lay down,” Sabo said, putting the back of his gloved hand against your cheek. You nodded your agreement, for once thankful that the ocean had upset your stomach and finally ended your social outing.
Sabo POV
Sabo tucked Sunny back into bed after placing a bucket by her side. He reached out his hand to pat her hair as she groaned and closed her eyes but pulled his hand back at the last second. He’d resumed touching you more casually but he didn’t want to overdo it, especially when you weren’t feeling well. He would gradually worm his way back to where he wanted to be in your heart, he knew it for a fact. You had liked him before and you would like him again, he simply had to be patient as he rebuilt the trust. 
Sabo had barely walked two feet outside of his cabin after taking his leave of you before Iva interrupted his thoughts.
“So that’s the new fiance eh, Sabo-boy? I couldn’t stay away from the melodrama of it all -I simply had to come on this trip and see the new love interest. And you finally resurfaced after she woke up,” Iva teased, beckoning Sabo to follow her.
“Not exactly,” Sabo grumbled as he walked in tandem with his close friend. He trusted Iva to keep his confidence even as it applied to you. Who better to talk to about the trials and tribulations of love?
“Hmm, she won’t get over the whole kidnapping thing….but she’ll get over you taking her from the Marines. She’s a pretty little thing, I know what you see in her,” Iva said, opening the door to her cabin.
“Oh?”
“Yourself!” Iva said with a barking laugh. Sabo exhaled through his nose and stretched his neck with a grimace. He wasn’t in the mood for teasing even if it was playful ribbing. 
“She’s really got her hooks in you, Sabo-boy! I’ve never seen you so dour before, the Grand Line’s most eligible bachelor reduced to tears in my dressing room. What’s the matter?” Iva said, as she guided Sabo to the couches. Even though Sabo outranked Iva, she had the best rooms on the ship. They included a bedroom and a salon from which she would conduct her business. It was a pleasant place to discuss matters of the heart, thought Sabo.
“Ah, just some setbacks, Sunny doesn’t like me very much right now. She really is brilliant -” Sabo began, trying to get Iva to see the benefit of having Sunny in the RA. Though Dragon was the Chief of Staff, it was well known that people didn’t last long if they didn’t have Iva’s approval.
“I know, I’ve been watching her career for a few years now. I don’t have the time to read but I read her articles. But that’s not the problem, is it?” Iva asked, pouring herself and Sabo some tea from a teapot. Sabo picked up his teacup, noting that his fingers were stiff. He’d have to look into that later after he’d taken care of Sunny.
“She’s wonderful but after she made that Mera Mera I had to put her in seastone. I couldn’t risk her doing something else foolish enough to risk our lives. Besides, I told her not to try to escape and she did so I had to punish her…” Sabo lamented, trailing off as he got lost in his thoughts.
“Ooh, you know I appreciate a good kink. Now, what are you going to do about it? I know what to do about it,” Iva declared as Sabo scoffed. “I’ll put in a good word or two for you. Send her my way,” Iva said, patting his thigh.
“Thank you, Iva, I appreciate it,” Sabo said, still sulking while sipping his tea.
“She’ll come around. Who could stay away from this sweet face?” she cooed while pinching and pulling Sabo’s cheek. 
A few hours later, Sabo went to check on you to see how you were faring. The sight of you dozing in the bed reminded him of the first voyage the two of you had taken together. He couldn’t resist running his hand along your exposed lower back where your shirt had ridden up as you slept on your stomach. If he had it his way, he’d be sinking into you right now, keeping you satisfied on his cock morning, noon, and night. You groaned from his light touch so Sabo prepared a cup of water for you when you eventually woke. He knew the vomiting was hard on you - he had pondered inviting Law to the RA to take a look at your insides and make sure everything was okay. But the way you talked about Law made Sabo want to sink Law’s stupid submarine before he even got to the RA. It was something he’d think over depending on how you fared.
“Mmnmmh,” you groaned, turning your head over to the other side. 
“Any better?” Sabo asked, placing his hand on your back while slightly heating you up. He felt along your spine for knots or tight muscles that may have been causing you pain, his fingers gently pushing and kneading. He sat next to you on the bed to get a better angle for massaging you.
“Mmhmph,” you repeated. Sabo removed his hand, interpreting the message to mean that you wanted to be left alone. 
“Feels good, keep going,” you muttered into the pillow with your hair obscuring some of your face. Sabo replaced his hand and joined it with the other to continue slowly kneading your back. He was surprised you welcomed his touch but then again, you’d always been more agreeable when you were ill. 
“ ‘S Sabo, right?” you said a few minutes later, Sabo still working on your back. When you were more open to his suggestions, he was going to offer you regular massages. Not only did he enjoy touching you but your back held immense amounts of stress. The knots on your back felt like ball bearings with how tight they were. He worked them under his fingers, using his claw technique for good to rub your sensitive back.
“Mmh,” Sabo hummed in response. It was quiet for a few minutes longer until you rolled over and sat up in the bed, suddenly ending the impromptu massage session. 
“Thank you, that felt nice,” you said in a hesitating voice. Sabo decided not to mention anything because it would only cause you to retreat further. He was surprised you allowed the contact at all, much less asked him to continue.
“You’re welcome, your back’s very tight. I’d be happy to help if you’d like. By the way, I spoke to Iva. She extended a formal invitation to you to come visit her lab if you’re interested -”
“ If I’m interested?! What did you say? What did you tell her?!” you asked, rising to your knees on the bed, your shyness forgotten at the mention of your idol wanting to share work with you. Sabo smiled at your antics but found himself amused that you were so easy to manipulate with a simple invitation.
“That I would talk to you about it. It’s not my place to say yes or no,” Sabo said, planting his hands in his lap. You studied his face and nodded in agreement with his plan.
“Well, I would absolutely love to when we get to - er, wherever we’re going,” you replied with sincerity. Sabo cupped your cheek, you really were cute. “And did I miss Ace? I want to see him before he goes off to Wano,” you asked, glancing out the window and dislodging his hand. Sabo snorted - as if Ace would leave without saying goodbye. Ace had already double checked that the vivre papers Sabo had made worked while you were passed out. 
“No, he should be coming up from the south very shortly if he isn’t close already,” Sabo said, thinking about the coordinates Ace had last shared. The route he would have to take was coming up but there should be plenty of time for one last rendezvous. 
“Marine ship inbound from the south! Admiral level threat! All hands on deck!” came a loud voice over the snail intercom. You looked at Sabo in alarm, naturally seeking him out for guidance and comfort in uncertain times. He would have praised your trust in him if there wasn’t an admiral coming to capture you.
“Sunny, I need you to stay in the cabin,” Sabo said while gripping your upper arms in his hands.
Sunny POV
You recognized the large fleet ship because you had been on it twice to present your last research to Admiral Sakazuki himself. The ship was a monstrosity, with it being the largest and most powerful of all vessels in the current naval fleet. It could hold thousands of Marine troops if it was filled to capacity. It was swiftly catching up with the RA one you were on, outpacing it easily with its massive sails and engine.
Sabo had locked you in his cabin after asking you to remain inside. It was one order you didn’t mind following - you didn’t know how to fight and would be a hindrance to either side. 
Seeing the ship from afar gave you a small glimmer of hope that perhaps they’d come to save you, though the cannons pointing your way made you think it was happenstance. You hoped the RA ship could make some kind of miraculous getaway after you’d been recovered. Code stated that the Marines would board the ship and then take everyone prisoner after they’d won the skirmish. It would be obvious that you weren’t there by choice when they discovered you locked in a cabin. You’d clear your name, get back to your lab, get back to work, and…
Your thoughts trailed off as you listened to the sound of stomping feet above and below your cabin preparing the ship for battle. You didn’t want to be Sabo’s little pet for the rest of your life but you also didn’t want the people you met to be sent to Impel Down. You hated fighting, it was one of many reasons you weren’t in the other corps. The pit in your stomach grew and you bit your fingers as the threat of a clash loomed ever closer. You’d never been in a battle proper and didn’t know what to expect. As you peered out the small cabin window, you saw the unmistakable flames of Striker coming in from the southeast. Your heart sank as Striker flew across the water towards the RA ship. You knew Ace had been a Commander for Whitebeard but you weren’t sure he was healed enough from his trauma to be able to fight against the Marines, particularly if Admiral Sakazuki was there.
An incredibly loud boom shattered your thoughts as the ship listed to the side. You didn’t have time to get your bearings before two more came in quick succession, jostling the boat further. Wood groaned and snapped as something fell into the water with a tremendous splash. The sounds were deafening, like one hundred guns firing at once. Your eyes widened as you realized the sound was cannonballs the Marines were firing on the RA ship. You wished you had your power so you could see what was happening but the small window severely limited your range of vision. 
Standing on the bed to get a better look out the small window, you saw Striker circling the Marine ship as Ace blasted it with fire without much success. The Marine ship drew ever closer to your own until you could make out the shapes of hundreds of individual Marines, standing in platoon order. Ace also closed in on the RA ship, continuing to dodge cannon balls and bullets while defending the RA. The RA wasn’t fast enough to outmaneuver the Marines and soon the ships were side by side, the noise rising to a cacophonous level that made you put your hands over your ears.
As all the ships converged you lost your ability to see much of anything beyond the broad side of the Marine ship. The sounds of fighting, yelling, and gunshots grew louder as Marines boarded above you. You heard Iva’s shrill voice yelling out her attacks and the consequent screams of injured or dying Marines. You also heard Sabo’s voice as he barked orders and fought though his voice was harder to hear. What worried you was that you didn’t hear Ace’s voice even as the fighting grew closer until it sounded like it was right outside your door.
“Ensign Mag! Ensign Mag! Are you in there?” yelled a Marine voice from beyond the door. The voice had you whipping your head towards the door even as you wondered if they thought your actual name was Mag. You’d almost forgotten the nickname since Sabo had been calling you Sunny for so long. 
“Y-yeah, I’m here!” you yelled back as an unexpected uncertainty rose in you. Now that the moment of your rescue was upon you you weren’t as sure of your decision. 
“Stand back!” the voice ordered as repetitive booms smacked against the door. You were still standing on the bed as the heavy wood door groaned against the assault but finally splintered as a Marine Commander you didn’t recognize pushed through the now busted door. 
“Ensign Mag, are you unharmed?” the Commander questioned, his authoritarian voice almost making you salute from muscle memory.
“Ah, oh, yeah, I’m - I’m ok,” you stammered as the Commander rushed you. Several other Marines entered and began ransacking the room. You weren’t sure what they were looking for but it didn’t seem like the time to ask. 
“Target acquired Admiral,” the Commander said into a baby Den Den as he gripped your arm tightly enough to bruise with the other. Were you the reason for the attack? You hoped not as screams indicated that either Marines or RA soldiers, most likely both, were being killed above your head.
“Let’s go, the others will kill off the rest of the pirates,” the Commander said, pulling you along.
“K-kill? I thought they were going to be arrested,” you said, trying to slow down the speed he dragged out of the room by dragging your heels. When you first were kidnapped by Sabo, you imagined how your rescue would go down but you hadn’t imagined so much carnage. The smell of smoke hit your nose before you heard wood crackling. 
“Heh, not in the big leagues kid. All these pirates are gonna get what they fuckin’ deserve. Admiral Sakazuki’s killin’ Gol D. Ace as we speak,” the Commander said, barking a laugh. Your stomach dropped as you realized that was your Ace. Sweet, kind, self-hating, funny, idiotic, Ace. He - they were going to kill him? After everything he’d been through? He wasn’t even that bad of a pirate, he -he couldn’t be killed, he just couldn’t. You’d finally made a good friend and now - you heard Admiral Sakazuki laugh as the smell of smoke grew inside the vessel.
For once in your life, you didn’t stop to think, analyze, or plan. You just moved. You ripped your arm back from the Commander who was leading you and made a break out the door. The Marines were so stunned to see you moving quickly that they didn’t think to stop you immediately. The halls were filled with RA soldiers fighting Marines, there was blood spilled everywhere, weapons being fired, swords being drawn - but you didn’t see any of it. You ran as fast as you could up to the deck to find Ace. You weren’t sure what you’d do when you got there but you had to save him .
You pushed forward to the top deck, miraculously avoiding any hands that sought to restrain you. Dodging Marines, RA soldiers, and anyone else trying to stop you, you ran through the already broken door to the deck. There, on the bow of the ship, Marines had made a human barrier blocking off Ace from Admiral Sakazuki. RA Soldiers were trying to break through but they were outnumbered and Sabo and Iva were fighting dozens of Commanders at the stern of the ship.
Ace wasn’t doing well. He was dodging attacks from Sakazuki but wasn’t returning fire. His face was ashen as if he was fighting a ghost. You could hear Admiral Akainu taunting him from where you stood as he belched lava over the deck, Ace narrowly dodging every time.
“...Isn’t that right boy? Killed your Captain, your brothers, everyone, and you couldn’t even do them the justice of staying dead. How pathetic. Not even fit to fill the shoes of your criminal father. Whitebeard’s final thoughts were what a disappointment you are, how he shouldn’t have come for you -” 
You couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore, you couldn’t hear Sakazuki pummeling Ace emotionally while cornering him physically. You wanted to help but you didn’t have any way to fight anyone, much less the Fleet Admiral. A flash in your mind had you quickly formulating a shaky plan to help Ace but you would need the bracelet off immediately. You heard the voices of the Marines coming up the stairwell after you - you didn’t have much time. Looking down at your wrist and tugging on your bracelet, your mind brought up an old memory of your sister. Once she’d begged your mother to borrow her gold bracelet, the only nice piece of jewelry your mom owned. Your mother agreed but at some point in the day, your sister’s thumb joint had dislocated and the bracelet slipped off never to be found again. For your sister, it was her Ehlers Danlos, but if your thumb joint broke it would be the same principle.
Without hesitation, you bashed your thumb joint against the cement wall to your right. The pain would come later, right now you were filled with adrenaline as you purposely smashed your hand against the concrete wall. Finally, you heard a snap of bone and winced as your joint dislocated. 
“Ace! Just hold on a few minutes longer!” you shrieked into the distance as you tugged the bracelet off, clattering to the deck. You didn’t think Ace could hear you but the Marines chasing you did. 
“Helping the pirates, eh? You’re further gone than we thought. It’s OK, you’re coming back -” arms reached out to grab you and you tried to duck away but there were too many. You flailed and pushed as hard as you could to escape but you were thrown over someone’s shoulder, your ankles quickly tied together.
“Calm down, Ensign! That’s an order! Not sure what they did-” You stopped listening as you realized you could still see Admiral Sakazuki. Using your thumb was difficult but you were able to make a rectangular frame and zoom in. You were being jostled and moved farther away rapidly but that didn’t matter anymore. Zooming in further and further, you searched around the lava that had been spewed on the deck until you found what you were looking for right on the shoulder of the Admiral himself. 
Uranium. 
Lava often had pockets of uranium that occurred naturally within the molten rock. You knew it was an unstable element and it would be possible to get a reaction if you worked quickly enough. Your fingers worked in a flurry as you ripped apart the atoms comprising the rare element, hoping that you were right about your conjecture. You ripped and tore your way through and you needed just a few more - when someone shook you like a rag doll and put their hands on yours, erasing the magnification.
“What’re you doing there? What’s all th— AAAHHHHH!” whatever hand was gripping yours now had your teeth sunk into it with all the force you could muster. They dropped their hand and you scrambled to remagnify the area you needed as the taste of copper filled your mouth. You were being carried farther from the action, almost to the gangplank to the Marine warship.
“FUCKIN’ BITCH! This is the thanks we get? Pirates musta cooked your brains or some shit -” You ignored them as they yelled, all that mattered was saving Ace. What was seconds but felt like minutes passed as you once again found the pocket you needed and got back to work. Holding your breath, you jostled the last atom, breaking its bonds. 
The next atom broke its bonds without your help as your mouth dropped open. You protected your ears and face with your hands, curling up as much as your position would allow on someone’s shoulder.
“The fuck is she doin’ now? This bitch really is crazy -”
Boom.
You didn’t hear the noise the explosion made. Everyone swore it had been so loud it was heard miles away on the Grand Line but you never remembered any sound. It was the blinding white light that alerted you that your plan had worked. You didn’t open your eyes but the flash was blinding all the same. A mushroom cloud rose over the ship, emanating from the location that had once been Admiral Sakazuki. There was nothing left of him but a smoking crater on the charred remains of the hull. The Marines who had once been encircling the Fleet Admiral and Ace were scattered about the deck from the force of the blast.
Everything stopped. 
Not a sound was made, it was like time had frozen.
All eyes turned to you. 
Even Ace was standing in the same defensive crouching position he had been before you detonated the Fleet Admiral of the Marines. You were dropped onto the deck on your stomach as the Marines looked at the spot that their Admiral had been standing on just seconds prior. The only sounds were the waves lapping against the side of the boat.
“What did you do?” the Commander said, still looking at the bow. You didn’t answer. You couldn’t answer.
“What the FUCK did you just do?” he repeated, this time turning and facing you, his mouth tight with fury.
“What the fuck did you do, you spineless bitch?” he yelled while rearing back his booted leg. You tried to brace for the kick you saw coming but it didn’t help the explosion of pain you felt. And just like the atoms in the uranium, his kick caused a chain reaction. Fighting resumed, but the tide had turned in the favor of the RA. Without the Admiral, their power and morale were considerably weakened and Marines started abandoning the fight in favor of retreating to their ship.
You weren’t able to see that because the Marines surrounding you closed ranks. They watched the Commander who had been carrying you kick you repeatedly in the ribs, torso, legs, and head. You tried to cover your head and neck but weren’t successful as his large boot found its target over and over on your soft body. Your bones crunched and popped as you weakly tried to abate the onslaught. He stomped on your hands repeatedly, breaking the bones that you hadn’t broken yourself.
“Try that shit now! Just you try that shit now!” he screamed into your face. You tried to look at the assembled Marines for help but they either steadfastly stared away from you or were outright encouraging their Commander. He kicked you on the side of the head, causing your head to bounce back against the deck. You tried to get on your hands and knees but your body gave out as you collapsed against the wood floor. 
“Phea -” you were drooling your own blood onto the deck as you tried to beg for him to stop but your jaw wasn’t working. Neither was one of your eyes or either of your hands. You spat one of your teeth onto the deck as you gave up trying to save yourself from destruction. You’d given your life for Ace’s and it felt like a fair trade. Your head lolled to the side and you saw the Commander taking his gun and holding the stock above you. You closed your eyes and waited for the final blow that would surely kill you.
It never came.
Peeling open the eye that worked, you looked up and saw the Commander’s skull being crushed in Sabo’s grip as he struggled and screamed against the Flame Emperor’s hold. Sabo looked as calm and collected as he always did like this was an average day for him. His normally pristine clothes were covered in blood spatter though none of it seemed to be leaking from his body. The lead pipe in his other hand was already coated in blood, dripping onto the deck. 
“Sunny, close your eyes.”
Taglist: @mfreedomstuff @epochal-oracle
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callmemonster68 · 16 hours ago
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JAKE - God of Death ( smut )
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An immortal reaper who, upon falling in love with a soul destined to depart, discovers a new perspective on life and death. The presence of this special person illuminates his dark world and awakens a lust he never imagined feeling.
Pairing: Jake, a deity X FemReader
Genre: Obscenity
Warning: Contains explicit content, unprotected sex, suggestive, penetration, explicit language, climax, sex, swearing, loss of virginity, hickeys, messy make-out sessions, dirty talk, compliments, rough sex, touching bruises, handcuffs, chains, sadomasochism , masochism, brands
Note: I'm recently starting to write, and English is not my native language. I apologize for any mistakes and hope to improve my writing. Feedback is always welcome!
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On a tranquil night, under the moonlight, a field stretches out in silence, where life and death subtly connect. It is in this setting that an unexpected encounter takes place between Y/N, a submissive mortal, and Jake, the God of Death. This moment transcends fear and uncertainty, intertwining curiosity and courage in an intense and provocative conversation about life, death, and the mysteries that await us beyond.
It is an irresistible invitation to explore the deepest desires and hidden passions, as they surrender to the pleasures of what it truly means to live and love. Every whispered word becomes a touch, every glance an invitation to dive into the depths of pleasure and connection, revealing the secrets that make us shiver and draw us closer to ecstasy.
Jake: "You know you were destined to meet me, don’t you?"
Y/N: "Perhaps. But I’m not afraid of you. Death is just a part of life."
Jake (moving closer): "You’re different. Most fear what I represent. But you… you bring a light I’ve never known."
Y/N: "And you bring a mystery that fascinates me. What happens if I don’t leave?"
Jake: "Then, perhaps I can show you what it means to live intensely, even with death always lurking, like a forbidden desire."
Y/N: "What if I want to feel that intensity with you? Right now, while I still have time, to lose ourselves in one another."
Jake: "Then let’s savor every moment, every touch, every breath. Life is precious, even if brief, and I want you to feel that by my side."
Y/N: "Then, teach me to live, God of Death."
Jake: "What if I showed you that death isn’t the end, but merely a new form of existence?"
Y/N: "Do as you will; I am in your hands, God of Death."
The words carried such force and intensity that the atmosphere grew heavy. Y/N felt insecure yet drawn to the enigmatic God of Death. Her eyes were enslaved by the beauty and power he exuded. Without further hesitation, Jake also felt a connection with the mortal, and he couldn’t resist his overwhelming desire to satisfy himself with her.
In the dimly lit room, Jake and Y/N faced each other. Jake’s heart raced as he watched Y/N’s body tremble with anticipation. This was the moment he had been waiting for.
Jake: "Let’s begin, Y/N."
Y/N’s eyes widened. She knew what was coming. Jake gestured for her to kneel before him, and she obeyed, lowering herself to the floor. Jake’s hand traced the length of Y/N’s body, stopping at her waist. He lifted her and guided her to the bed.
Jake: "Take off your clothes."
Y/N undressed, revealing her flawless figure. Jake’s eyes widened as he admired her beauty.
Jake: "Lie down on the bed."
Y/N lay on the bed, her body exposed to Jake’s gaze. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for what was to come.
Jake stood beside her, his eyes fixed on Y/N’s. He smiled, savoring her submission. Y/N opened her eyes, meeting Jake’s gaze.
Jake: "I want you to remember every detail of this moment."
Y/N nodded, her heart racing. Jake picked up a whip from beside the bed, and Y/N shuddered with anticipation. Jake caressed Y/N’s body, running the whip over her skin. He watched as Y/N’s body writhed with pleasure.
Jake began to whip her, the sound echoing through the room. Y/N’s body twisted, and she let out a series of moans.
Jake: "You’re mine, Y/N! You’re my submissive, and you will do everything I say."
Y/N’s eyes widened in ecstasy. She felt herself being carried away by the intensity of the moment. After minutes of being whipped and praised by Jake, Y/N, unable to wait any longer, begged.
Y/N: "Please, I beg you, I need to feel you inside me."
Jake: "How adorable, so desperate for my cock. How could I say no to someone as eager as you?"
Without waiting for an answer, Jake set the whip aside and grabbed handcuffs from the drawer beside the bed. He secured Y/N’s hands behind her and positioned her on all fours.
A sharp smack and a surprised cry of pain escaped Y/N. Another smack, and the obscene sounds of Y/N’s mix of pain and pleasure echoed in the room. Without warning, Jake thrust his large, thick cock into Y/N’s wet pussy, eliciting a scream. The blend of sensations—pain and burning mixed with overwhelming pleasure—left her increasingly mindless.
Jake’s movements grew more violent, and Y/N’s moans became more intense. She felt herself being pushed to the edge of pleasure and pain, and she loved every moment of it.
With teary eyes, Y/N reached her orgasm. With a few more careless thrusts, Jake finally climaxed. Y/N felt overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Her tears streaked her face as Jake’s body trembled with pleasure.
Y/N lay on the bed, panting and exhausted, while Jake’s hand reached out to caress her face and body. She felt a wave of satisfaction and contentment washing over her.
Jake smiled, watching Y/N’s body relax in a state of bliss. He took her hand and kissed it, savoring the moment.
Jake: "You’re mine, Y/N. And nothing can change that, not even death."
Y/N smiled, her heart filled with a sense of love and devotion. She knew she had been completely consumed by Jake’s desires, and she loved every moment of it.
It wasn’t long before Y/N fell into a deep sleep from exhaustion. Jake watched her. His mission had been simple: find and reap her life. What had happened inside him to lead to this moment was a mystery to him. But he would do whatever it took to keep Y/N by his side after her death—his perfect doll, his vessel of lust, his sole obsession.
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This story is part of the universe of ' Divine Sins: Immortal Fantasies with ENHYPEN ' created by me.Description:Seven sensual and mysterious tales that delve into the desires between mortals and immortals. Inspired by the members of ENHYPEN, these stories reimagine the group as powerful gods and a fallen angel, all wickedly alluring and irresistibly seductive. Each narrative immerses readers in a world of fantasy, unveiling forbidden passions, divine secrets, and the overwhelming intensity that sparks between celestial beings and an ordinary human. A universe brimming with lust, mystery, and the captivating allure of the forbidden, where every story is an invitation to desire. Contains mature content.
✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿
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niallerspayno · 8 hours ago
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My Sunshine
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Masterlist
You’re the bubbly, optimistic junior stylist working with One Direction. While you easily connect with the other boys, Zayn Malik is a different story—quiet, grumpy, and distant. But as you share quiet moments and unexpected sparks fly between you two, you can’t deny the chemistry building. As tension grows, you both must face your fears and open up, finding that sometimes opposites really do attract.
Tags: grumpy!Zayn x sunshine!reader, slow burn, fluff
Your nerves flutter in your stomach, but you smile widely, trying to hide the way your heart races. This is your dream job. Being here, working alongside Lou Teasdale, the stylist behind some of the most iconic looks for One Direction, is everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ve trained for this moment—learning the ins and outs of makeup, hair, and fashion—but nothing could have prepared you for actually being here.
The tour itself is massive, with sold-out shows all over the world. The band is bigger than life itself, and you’re the junior makeup and hair stylist, the newest addition to the team, tasked with making sure the boys look flawless for every performance, photoshoot, and press interview. It’s a big responsibility, and you’re determined to prove yourself.
“Alright,” Lou says, her voice cutting through your racing thoughts, “Let’s go introduce you to the boys.”
You nod enthusiastically, trying to keep the nerves at bay. Lou leads you into the spacious backstage area where the boys are gathered, laughing and joking as they prep for their first show of the tour.
There they are, standing in front of you like a dream: Harry, with his signature curly hair and laid-back grin; Liam, who looks every bit the leader, confident and always on point; Louis, playful as ever, giving you a quick nod as he catches your eye; Niall, looking like he could charm anyone with a simple smile; and Zayn. Zayn, with his intense gaze and quiet demeanor, barely acknowledges your presence at first, lost in his own thoughts.
“Boys, this is the new addition to the team, Y/N,” Lou announces, her hand on your shoulder as she turns toward you. “She’ll be working closely with me as a junior makeup and hair stylist. She’s excited to be here, and I’m sure you’ll all make her feel welcome.”
You smile as brightly as you can, even though your hands are shaking slightly. “Hi, everyone. I’m so excited to work with you all.”
The boys offer various greetings—Liam gives you a friendly smile, Harry winks playfully, and Louis cracks a joke, making you laugh nervously. But it’s Zayn who catches your eye last, his expression unreadable.
“Nice to meet you,” he says quietly, barely glancing in your direction before turning back to the rest of the group.
You don’t mind. You know you have to prove yourself, and you’re ready to dive in.
Lou pats your back, guiding you toward the hair and makeup stations. “You’ve got this,” she says, her confidence in you making you feel a little less jittery.
As you follow her, your eyes flick back to the boys one last time. Zayn still doesn’t seem to notice you much, but you’re sure that will change once you start working with him. And even if he doesn’t seem impressed now, you’ll show him just how good you are at what you do.
A few weeks into the tour, and you’ve already settled into your role, though it’s a lot busier than you ever expected. Lou’s been an incredible mentor, always there to guide you, offering tips on everything from makeup application to the way the boys like their hair styled.
The boys, too, have been incredibly welcoming, with Harry cracking jokes to keep the mood light, Liam offering tips on staying organised, and Louis never missing a chance to tease you in the most endearing way possible. Even Niall, with his ever-present smile, has a way of making you feel like you belong.
The camaraderie is easy to find with everyone, except for one person—Zayn.
He’s quiet, distant, and rarely engages in the easy banter you share with the others. You’ve tried to crack him. You’ve dropped a couple of harmless comments about his style, attempting to draw him into conversation. You’ve tried joking around with him while you fix his hair or touch up his makeup, hoping that your bubbly energy will wear down his walls.
But Zayn isn’t easily swayed.
His responses are always short, and while he’s polite, it’s clear he’s not exactly interested in bonding with you. Every time you get a few words in with him, it’s like trying to break through a brick wall.
“Morning,” you greet him one day, trying to keep the mood light as you set up your station for the show’s makeup touch-ups.
He looks at you, nodding once, but doesn’t return the greeting with his usual warmth. “Hey.” His voice is low, uninterested.
You’re undeterred, though. You’ve cracked harder nuts than him.
“You know,” you say, leaning in as you prep the makeup brushes, “I think you’d look even better in a bit of eyeliner. Just a suggestion.”
Zayn doesn’t respond immediately, his gaze flicking to you for just a second. There’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes, but he quickly masks it. “I’m good, thanks.”
You sigh dramatically, dropping the brush. “What’s it going to take to make you crack, Zayn?”
The corner of his lips twitches, but he remains silent.
“You’re tough, I’ll give you that,” you say, winking at him, determined to keep pushing. “But I won’t give up. Eventually, I’ll get you laughing.”
He doesn’t answer, but there’s a slight shift in his demeanor—a subtle, almost imperceptible change. You know you’re getting under his skin, even if he’s not showing it.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Zayn mutters, walking away. But you swear you see the smallest smirk tug at his lips, and it’s enough to keep you going.
You’ve got your work cut out for you, but you’re determined. Zayn’s grumpy exterior doesn’t stand a chance against your sunshine.
It’s show day, and you and Lou are busy prepping the boys for their performance. The air is full of energy as you move between each of the boys, touching up their hair and makeup, while Lou adjusts their outfits. The camaraderie between everyone is infectious—Harry is cracking jokes, Niall is teasing Louis about his shirt, and Liam is chatting with Lou about some of the tour’s logistics.
But it’s when you move toward Zayn that the real fun begins.
“So, Y/N,” Louis calls, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he gives you a once-over, “We’ve been meaning to ask… Were you a big fan before you got this gig?”
You freeze for a split second, caught off guard by the question. You glance at Lou, who gives you a knowing smile, and the rest of the boys turn their attention to you, eagerly awaiting your answer.
“Well…” you say, clearing your throat and trying to play it cool, “Yeah. I mean, I’ve always liked your music. Who doesn’t, right?”
There’s a burst of laughter from Harry. “So you were stalking us before you showed up?”
You roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile that plays at your lips. “Okay, fine. Maybe I watched a few interviews. Maybe I definitely knew all the lyrics to your songs before this tour.”
The boys erupt in teasing, and even Lou shakes her head with a grin.
“No shame in that!” Niall chimes in. “I’m sure you weren’t the only one.”
“Alright, alright,” Liam says, putting a hand up to stop the chatter. “But now, the big question… Who was your favorite?”
You pause, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. It’s a loaded question, but you decide to own it. After all, you’ve been trying to keep things light with Zayn, even if he’s always a bit distant.
“Zayn,” you answer without hesitation.
The room goes silent, and you feel all eyes on you. There’s a moment of stunned silence before Louis grins mischievously.
“Zayn? Really?” Louis teases, waggling his eyebrows. “The quiet, brooding one?”
“Are you sure you’re not just saying that to avoid getting murdered by one of the rest of us?” Harry adds, grinning.
You laugh, shrugging with a playful smile. “Yeah, I mean, Zayn’s just… different. I like his style.” You pause, trying to find the right words. “He’s… got that quiet cool thing going on, you know?”
The other boys exchange exaggerated glances, eyes wide.
“Well, I’ll be,” Niall says, stepping forward. “I think we’ve got a match here, lads. Opposites attract, right?”
“Totally,” Liam agrees, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “So when’s the wedding?”
You roll your eyes, but the teasing continues to come.
“I mean, just look at them,” Harry says, putting on a dramatic voice. “Zayn’s the cool, mysterious guy, and Y/N is… well, sunshine in human form. It’s practically written in the stars.”
Louis snickers. “I think we need a duet, huh? Maybe ‘Opposites Attract’ for the setlist?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Zayn mutters, barely looking up from his phone, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—amusement, maybe?
“Yeah, yeah, we get it,” you say, trying to keep a straight face. “You guys are hilarious.”
But the teasing doesn’t stop.
“You know,” Liam says, nudging Zayn with a grin, “I think you’ve got some competition now. Better watch out, mate.”
“Don’t worry,” Niall adds with a wink, “I think we’re all just waiting for the first romantic gesture.”
Zayn’s lips twitch slightly, but he doesn’t respond. His usual cool exterior is still there, but there’s something about the way he’s reacting—like he’s not entirely opposed to the idea.
“Alright, alright,” Louis says, raising his hands in mock surrender. “We’ll stop. But we’ve definitely got team sunshine and team stormcloud here, don’t we?”
You laugh, even though you can’t help but feel a little flustered. “Sure. You’ve had your fun.”
As you finish up with Zayn, you exchange a brief, knowing look. There’s a subtle shift in his expression—a slight smile, maybe—before he looks away, as if pretending the entire conversation didn’t happen.
But you can’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you’re getting closer.
You’re on your second cup of coffee, trying to shake off the early morning fog as you bustle around the dressing room, adjusting outfits and making sure everything is set for the boys’ interview. Lou’s beside you, just as busy, but she’s got the kind of calm efficiency that only comes with years of experience.
The rest of the boys are still trying to shake off the sleepiness. Harry’s running around the room like a ball of energy, Liam is focused on his phone, Niall’s sipping his coffee with a grin, and Louis is picking at his outfit, clearly trying to make himself look ‘effortlessly stylish.’
Then there’s Zayn.
He’s slouched in a chair, arms crossed, eyes half-closed, clearly not a fan of this early start. You can’t help but grin at him.
“Good morning, Zayn!” you chirp, walking past him.
He grumbles something incoherent, his eyes narrowed as if the mere sound of your voice is too much.
“You’re way too happy for this time of day,” he mutters, his voice rough from sleep. “How can you be this cheerful this early?”
You laugh, raising your coffee cup. “Second cup. It’s my magic potion,” you tease.
He shoots you a deadpan look, clearly not impressed, but there’s something in his eyes that says he’s not entirely annoyed either. Maybe just a little intrigued.
“Must be nice,” he grumbles again, but the usual edge of annoyance is missing.
As Lou moves to touch up Niall’s hair, you continue bouncing between the boys, making sure everyone’s ready for the interview. Your usual banter flows easily—Louis teases Harry about his outfit, Niall jokes with you about your coffee addiction, and Liam quietly observes, nodding at the various preparations.
But through it all, you can’t shake the feeling that Zayn is watching you.
Every time you move across the room or make eye contact, you catch a glimpse of his dark eyes lingering on you for a fraction longer than usual. At first, you tell yourself it’s nothing—just Zayn being Zayn. But it happens again, and again.
You’re not imagining it. Zayn is watching you.
You try not to let it throw you off, keeping your usual bubbly self going as you continue with the boys’ preparations, but something in the way Zayn looks at you now feels different. It’s subtle, but it’s there—like he’s studying you, or maybe… waiting for something.
As the boys finish getting ready, you make your way back to Lou, trying to act casual. But you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips when you glance over at Zayn again.
It’s like something’s shifted, but you’re not quite sure what yet.
The concert has just ended, and the venue is buzzing with the lingering energy of thousands of screaming fans. You step outside, seeking a moment of quiet in the cool night air. The distant hum of voices and equipment being packed away drifts through the stillness. Rounding the corner, you stop short when you see Zayn leaning against a brick wall, a cigarette glowing between his fingers.
For a moment, you consider turning back, not wanting to intrude on what looks like his private time. But before you can retreat, he glances up, his dark eyes meeting yours through the thin curl of smoke.
“You hiding out too?” you ask, stepping forward cautiously.
He doesn’t say anything at first, just shrugs and takes another slow drag from his cigarette. But he doesn’t seem annoyed by your presence, so you take it as a good sign.
“You were incredible tonight,” you say, leaning against the wall a few feet from him.
“Thanks,” he mutters, his voice low. He exhales a cloud of smoke, looking up at the night sky. “Crowd was good.”
You nod, watching him for a moment before your gaze flickers to the cigarette in his hand. He notices, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.
“You smoke?” he asks, holding it up slightly.
You shake your head with a laugh. “Never tried it.”
That catches his attention. He turns his head toward you, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “Never? Not even once?”
“Nope.” You grin. “Guess I never had the urge.”
He considers you for a moment, then holds out the cigarette, the embers glowing faintly in the dim light. “Wanna try?”
You hesitate, your gaze shifting between him and the cigarette. “I don’t know… I mean, isn’t this the part where I’m supposed to say it’s bad for me?”
He smirks, his voice tinged with amusement. “Probably. But who listens to that, right?”
With a small laugh, you reach out and take the cigarette from his fingers. “Okay, but if I choke and die, it’s on you.”
He smirks, watching as you raise the cigarette to your lips. “Just take it slow. Don’t try to inhale too much at first.”
You follow his instructions, but the moment the smoke hits your throat, you cough violently, your eyes watering as you hand the cigarette back to him.
He smiles, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Okay, fine,” you rasp, wiping your eyes. “This is a terrible idea.”
“Relax,” he says, his voice softer now. He steps closer, holding the cigarette out to you again. “Try it one more time. I’ll walk you through it.”
There’s something in his tone—calm, almost encouraging—that makes you take it. He positions himself beside you, his hand hovering near yours, his presence close enough to feel the warmth of his body in the cool night air.
“Take a smaller drag this time,” he instructs, his voice low. “Don’t rush it. Just… let it fill your mouth first.”
You do as he says, more cautiously this time. The smoke feels strange, but not as overwhelming, and when you exhale slowly, it curls out in a thin stream.
“There you go,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips.
You hand the cigarette back to him, shaking your head with a grin. “You’re such a bad influence.”
He chuckles, taking another drag as he leans back against the wall. “You didn’t have to try it.”
“Yeah, but you made it look so cool,” you tease, rolling your eyes.
He laughs softly, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than usual.
“Wait a second,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him. “Did you just laugh at me?”
His gaze flickers to you, and for a split second, there’s a flash of guilt before he smirks. “Maybe.”
“You totally did!” you exclaim, pointing at him. “Zayn Malik, laughing at my expense. Unbelievable.”
He chuckles softly, and this time it’s unmistakable. You stare at him, momentarily stunned.
“Oh my God, I cracked you.” You break into a wide grin, unable to hide your triumph. “I’ve been waiting for this moment. Feels good to know I’m funny enough to make you laugh.”
He shakes his head, the smirk lingering. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late,” you fire back, your tone light and teasing. “You should laugh more, you know. It looks good on you.”
He raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Yeah, right.”
“I mean it,” you say, softening. “You’ve got a great laugh. And your smile… It’s really nice.”
His smirk falters, replaced by something quieter, more unsure. “Dunno about that.”
“Well, I do,” you reply simply, your voice steady.
He looks away, exhaling smoke into the night air, his brow furrowing slightly. It’s as if your words are too much for him to process, too sincere to brush off entirely.
For a moment, the air between you feels heavy—not with tension, but with something tender, something new.
“I’m serious,” you add gently. “You should let people see that side of you more often.”
He doesn’t respond, not directly. Instead, he stubs out the cigarette against the wall, his fingers lingering on the spot for a moment longer than necessary. When he looks back at you, there’s something different in his eyes—like he’s trying to figure you out, and maybe himself, too.
“Guess we’ll see,” he mutters, his voice low.
And just like that, the walls you’ve been chipping away at feel a little less insurmountable.
...
The dressing room is a whirlwind of activity, the hum of pre-show excitement hanging in the air. You and Lou are working in sync, moving between the boys as they sit in front of the brightly lit mirrors.
“You’ve got ten minutes!” a stagehand calls from the doorway.
“Yeah, yeah, we’re almost done!” Lou shouts back, grinning as she flicks a strand of Harry’s hair into place.
You turn to Zayn, who’s scrolling on his phone, already styled to perfection except for one finishing touch. “Alright, Zayn, I’m bringing it up again. Eyeliner. Just a little bit. What do you think?”
He glances at you, his expression neutral but not dismissive. “Why’re you so obsessed with this?”
“Because it would look amazing on you,” you say, grabbing the pencil from the makeup kit and holding it up for emphasis. “Trust me. It’ll make your eyes pop under the stage lights.”
“Mate, she’s got a point,” Niall chimes in from across the room. “You’ve got the look for it.”
“Since when do you care about eyeliner?” Zayn shoots back, raising an eyebrow.
“Since she started nagging you about it,” Niall says with a grin.
You roll your eyes, turning your attention back to Zayn. “Come on. One try. If you don’t like it, I’ll never bring it up again.”
He hesitates, his gaze shifting to Lou, who’s watching the exchange with an amused smirk. “Don’t look at me,” she says. “This is all her.”
Finally, with a quiet sigh, Zayn leans back in the chair. “Fine. Do your thing.”
The room goes silent for a beat before Harry’s voice cuts through the air. “Wait. What?”
“You’re actually letting her do it?” Louis asks, his jaw dropping.
“You never let anyone touch your face like that,” Liam adds, his tone laced with disbelief.
“Guess she’s got the magic touch,” Lou teases, winking at you.
You try to suppress a smile as you step closer to Zayn, the eyeliner in hand. “Hold still,” you murmur, your voice softer now.
He watches you carefully, his eyes steady and dark as you lean in. The room is quiet again, save for the occasional rustle of movement from the other boys. When you finish, you step back, capping the pencil with a satisfied grin.
“There. Told you it’d look good.”
Zayn turns to the mirror, his expression unreadable as he inspects your handiwork. After a moment, he shrugs. “Not bad.”
“Not bad?” Louis echoes, laughing. “That’s the most praise I’ve ever heard him give anyone.”
“I’m just surprised he let you do it,” Niall says, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’ve definitely got him wrapped around your finger.”
“Shut up, Niall,” Zayn mutters, but there’s the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.
You meet his eyes in the mirror, your own smile softening. “Glad you trust me.”
For a moment, it’s just the two of you in the reflection, the noise of the room fading into the background. Then Lou claps her hands, snapping everyone back to reality.
“Alright, showtime!” she calls.
As the boys file out of the room, you catch Zayn glancing back at you, his expression unreadable but lingering just long enough to send your heart fluttering.
Later that night the bar is buzzing with life—laughter, music, and the steady hum of conversation creating the perfect escape after a week of chaos. Your group claims a booth tucked into a corner, a round table surrounded by curved seating that’s already too small for the number of people cramming in.
“Alright, everyone, shift your arses!” Niall declares, sliding into the booth and dragging Louis in beside him.
The others follow, jostling for space. You hesitate at the edge, scanning for an open seat. Of course, the only spot left is sandwiched between Zayn and Liam.
“Go on, love, we don’t bite,” Liam says, giving you an encouraging smile as he pats the seat next to him.
“Much,” Louis adds with a wink, earning a laugh from the group.
Rolling your eyes but unable to hide your grin, you slide in. Your thigh brushes against Zayn’s as you sit, the warmth of him seeping through your jeans. He doesn’t move away, but he doesn’t acknowledge it either, his focus seemingly on the drink in his hand.
“Cozy, isn’t it?” Niall teases, smirking as he watches you settle in. Across the table, you catch Louis giving him a knowing look, and it clicks—they planned this.
The first round of drinks arrives, and Lou raises her glass. “To surviving another week of madness!”
“Cheers!” everyone echoes, clinking glasses around the table.
The conversation flows easily, laughter rippling through the group as stories and jokes fly across the table. You’re quick to join in, throwing in quips and teasing remarks that earn loud laughs from Niall, Louis and Harry. Even Liam, always the polite one, leans into the banter, his grin wide as he engages you in a playful back-and-forth about your questionable taste in music.
Zayn, however, is quieter, his comments few and far between. Still, you can’t help but notice the way his gaze lingers on you when he thinks you’re not paying attention.
At one point, Louis launches into a particularly outrageous story about their last tour, leaving you laughing so hard you throw your head back, accidentally bumping into Zayn’s shoulder.
“Sorry!” you say quickly, glancing at him.
“It’s fine,” he murmurs, his voice soft, though there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
“You could at least pretend to have fun,” you tease, leaning toward him slightly.
“I am having fun,” he replies, his tone deadpan.
“Sure you are,” you shoot back, grinning. “You’ve got the brooding loner thing down to an art.”
To your surprise, a quiet chuckle escapes him, and the sound sends a thrill through you. You’ve been waiting to crack him, and now that you’ve gotten even a small laugh, you’re determined to push further.
Across the table, Niall points at the two of you. “Oi, Zayn, d’you know you’re sitting next to the life of the party?”
“Please,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “You’re just jealous.”
“Jealous? Of you?” Harry pipes up with an exaggerated laugh. “Never.”
“She’s not wrong, though,” Liam says with a warm smile. “You’re keeping us all entertained. Even Zayn looks like he’s enjoying himself.”
“Barely,” you quip, nudging Zayn’s knee with yours.
Zayn glances at you, his lips curving into the faintest smirk. “I’m just waiting for you to tire yourself out.”
Louis cackles. “God, you two are like an old married couple.”
Your cheeks flush, but you shrug it off with a grin. “Please, like Zayn could handle me.”
“That’s probably true,” Liam chimes in, smirking. “You’d talk him into the ground.”
Zayn shakes his head, leaning back slightly. His arm stretches along the back of the booth, his fingers brushing your shoulder—a casual gesture that feels anything but.
“I’d survive,” he says quietly, his voice low and laced with something you can’t quite place.
As the night continues, the group’s energy swirls around you, but you’re hyperaware of Zayn. The way his leg stays pressed against yours. The subtle glances he steals when he thinks you’re distracted.
When Harry insists on another round, you volunteer to go with him to the bar. As you slip out of the booth, your leg brushes Zayn’s again. This time, his gaze locks with yours, and for a moment, the rest of the room fades.
“Don’t miss me too much,” you tease, winking as you step away.
Zayn chuckles softly, his voice following you. “No promises.”
At the bar, Harry leans in with a sly grin. “You’re really something, you know that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Zayn,” he says simply, raising a brow. “He’s watching you like a hawk. You’ve got quite the effect on people, sunshine.”
The night wears on, and the bar grows louder as the drinks flow freely. You’re halfway through a spirited debate with Louis and Niall about the merits of your favorite movie when you glance around the booth and notice Zayn’s absence.
You scan the bar, your brow furrowing. He’s nowhere to be seen—no cigarette in hand by the doors, no figure tucked into a corner with a drink. It’s unlike him to disappear without a word, and curiosity tugs at you.
“Where’d Zayn go?” you ask Lou, who shrugs.
“Probably went for some air. You know how he gets in places like this.”
That’s all you need to hear. Excusing yourself, you slip out of the booth and weave through the crowd, heading toward the quieter side of the bar. The night air hits you as you step outside, cool and refreshing after the stuffy warmth of the bar.
It doesn’t take long to find him. Zayn’s leaning against the side of the building, a cigarette balanced between his fingers, the soft glow of the embers casting shadows across his face. He looks up when he hears your footsteps, his dark eyes meeting yours.
“Thought you disappeared,” you say lightly, walking over to him.
“Needed a break,” he murmurs, taking a drag from his cigarette.
You lean against the wall beside him, letting the silence settle for a moment. “Big crowds aren’t your thing, huh?”
He exhales smoke into the night air, his gaze distant. “Not really. It’s fine for a while, but… it gets too much, y’know?”
You nod, watching him carefully. “Yeah, I get it. Everyone always expects you to be ‘on.’ It’s exhausting.”
He glances at you, a flicker of surprise in his expression. “You’re always ‘on,’ though. How d’you do it?”
You laugh softly, crossing your arms. “Lots of coffee. And… I guess it’s just how I’ve always been. It’s easier for me to focus on making other people happy. Keeps me from overthinking.”
Zayn studies you for a moment, his cigarette forgotten between his fingers. “Guess we’re opposites, then.”
“Seems that way,” you agree, offering him a small smile. “But opposites attract, right?”
His lips twitch, the ghost of a smile appearing. “So they say.”
The quiet stretches between you again, but it’s not uncomfortable. You glance up at the stars, feeling the weight of his gaze on you.
“Do you ever feel like… I don’t know, like you’re carrying this invisible weight?” he asks suddenly, his voice softer now. “Like no matter what you do, it’s not enough?”
You look at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his tone. “Yeah,” you admit, your voice just as quiet. “All the time. But I try to remind myself that it’s okay not to have it all figured out. It’s okay to just… be.”
Zayn exhales deeply, dropping his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his heel. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not,” you say gently. “But it helps when you let people in. Even just a little.”
He huffs a soft laugh, shaking his head. “You’re relentless, you know that?”
“Hey, someone’s gotta look out for you,” you tease, bumping your shoulder against his.
For the first time, his smile reaches his eyes. “Thanks,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Anytime,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at the moment you’ve shared.
The silence between you stretches, filled with the quiet hum of the night. You can feel Zayn’s presence beside you—steady, grounding. For someone who’s always been so closed off, he’s letting you in, little by little, and it makes your heart ache in a way you can’t explain.
You glance at him, noticing the way his dark lashes cast shadows against his cheeks, the soft curve of his lips as he stares out into the distance. His face is unreadable, but there’s a tension in his posture, like he’s caught between wanting to say something and holding it back.
“Zayn,” you say softly, and his eyes flick to yours, guarded yet curious.
“Yeah?”
You take a breath, your heart beating faster. “I meant what I said before. About your smile. And your laugh. I wish I could see them more because… I like them. I like you.”
For a moment, he just stares at you, his expression unreadable. Then, almost imperceptibly, he leans closer. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I’m not just saying it,” you insist, your voice firm but gentle. “You’re so hard on yourself, Zayn. You don’t see what I see. You’re kind, and talented, and—”
You’re cut off as Zayn closes the space between you, his lips brushing against yours so softly it feels like a question. Your breath catches, but you don’t pull away—instead, you lean into him, answering his unspoken ask.
The kiss is tentative at first, like he’s still testing the waters, but as your hand comes up to rest on his chest, it deepens. His lips are warm, slightly rough from the cigarette, but his touch is careful, reverent. It’s the kind of kiss that makes the world blur at the edges, leaving only the two of you in sharp focus.
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests lightly against yours. He’s breathing a little heavier, and his eyes search yours, vulnerability etched across his face.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he murmurs, his voice low.
“Regretting it already?” you tease, though your voice is soft, not wanting to break the moment.
A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth—more genuine than any you’ve seen from him before. “Not even close,” he says, his thumb brushing against your wrist where your hand still rests on his chest.
For a moment, you stand there, the air between you charged with something you’re both too afraid to name yet. But as his eyes linger on yours, you know this won’t be the last time Zayn lets you in.
“C’mon,” you say eventually, your voice light to mask the way your heart is racing. “Let’s go back before they send out a search party.”
Zayn chuckles softly, and the sound makes you smile. “Alright,” he says, his voice softer now. “But let’s keep this… between us for now.”
“Whatever you say, rockstar,” you reply, nudging him gently before turning toward the bar.
You can feel his gaze on you as you walk, a warmth spreading through your chest. Maybe you haven’t completely cracked Zayn yet, but this—whatever it is—is a start.
It’s one of those days when everything is a bit too much. You’re rushing around backstage, trying to get the boys styled for the show while keeping your nerves in check. The usual upbeat energy you carry is nowhere to be found today, replaced by a mounting pressure that makes every little thing feel like a big deal.
As you dash past the dressing room, a tangle of cords trips you up. Your foot catches, and before you can steady yourself, you fall forward, hitting the ground with a sharp thud. For a split second, everything freezes—the hustle of backstage, the noise of the boys and crew—all of it. You’re just sitting there, stunned.
You hear a soft voice break through the silence. “Are you alright?” It’s Zayn, kneeling down beside you before anyone else can even move. He’s the first to reach you, his hands gently helping you sit up.
The other boys are quick to hover, crowding around you with their usual teasing and concern. “You good, love?” Niall asks, a grin on his face, though his eyes are laced with concern.
But it’s Zayn who stays calm, his gaze focused on you in a way that makes the noise around you fade. He can see it. The way your shoulders are tense, the slight tremble in your hands. It’s not just the fall. It’s everything.
“Hey,” Zayn says quietly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his thumb lightly grazing your cheek. His voice drops lower, just for you, “Come with me.”
Without waiting for anyone’s response, he helps you up and leads you away from the others. You don’t protest, too grateful for the space to let the walls you’ve been holding up start to crumble. He pulls you outside to a quiet spot, away from the chaos of the dressing room.
Once you’re out in the open, Zayn releases your arm but stays close. You can feel the tension from the kiss days ago, still lingering between you, but neither of you has addressed it. It’s there, unspoken. And now, as the weight of the day catches up to you, you realize how much it’s been bothering you.
“I’m fine,” you say, trying to brush it off, but your voice cracks. You’re not fine. You’re anything but fine. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and a part of you just wants to break down.
Zayn doesn’t let you off the hook. He takes a step closer, his eyes searching yours. “You sure? You don’t look fine. I saw that back there… you’re not okay.”
You let out a shaky breath, and before you know it, the floodgates open. The tears you’ve been holding back start to spill over. You can’t stop them, not with everything that’s been building up. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you choke out, your voice thick with emotion. “I’ve been trying so hard to keep everything together. It’s all just too much…”
Zayn is silent for a moment, processing your words. Then, without saying another thing, he steps forward and wraps his arms around you in a hug. It’s warm and firm, like a shield from the world around you.
You don’t know why, but you break, your arms winding around him and letting yourself sink into his embrace. His scent, his presence—it’s all grounding. And for the first time today, you feel safe, like you can just let go.
His voice is soft, barely a whisper. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be strong all the time. We’re all just… figuring things out, yeah?”
You nod against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat soothing. There’s something about Zayn’s calm, unspoken support that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to do everything on your own.
He pulls back slightly, his hands still resting on your shoulders as he looks at you with those dark, understanding eyes. “You’ve been running yourself ragged,” he says, voice steady. “You deserve a break.”
You smile weakly up at him, still feeling a little shaky but grateful. “I don’t even know what a break feels like anymore.”
Zayn smiles, but it’s softer than usual. “Maybe it’s time you learned.” He gives you a gentle squeeze before stepping back, though his presence still lingers. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all need help sometimes.”
For the first time in days, you feel a flicker of relief. The weight on your shoulders isn’t gone, but it’s lighter now. Zayn’s not just the quiet guy you’ve been trying to figure out. He’s here for you in a way that feels real, that feels like more than just words.
“Thanks, Zayn,” you murmur, your voice steadying. “I needed that.”
He gives you a small, almost imperceptible nod, his expression softening just a little. “Anytime.”
As you and Zayn make your way back into the dressing room, the cool air from outside still lingers on your skin, but the chaos of the tour quickly rushes back in. You take a deep breath and, as if flipping a switch, slip back into your more familiar bubbly personality. It’s a little quieter now, more subdued than it was before, but it’s still there.
You give Zayn a small smile, though it doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way it usually does. “Thanks again, Zayn,” you say, your voice light but carrying the quiet gratitude you feel.
Zayn just nods, the same unreadable expression on his face. There’s a softness there now, something that wasn’t there before. Something unspoken.
As you re-enter the dressing room, Lou and the boys are all immediately on you, crowding around, but you put on a brave face.
“Everything okay?” Lou asks, her voice gentle, as she takes in the shift in your mood.
“I’m fine, really,” you say, flashing a smile that doesn’t quite hit the mark. “Just a little trip, nothing serious.” You wave off the concern as best as you can, but the boys aren’t having it.
Liam arches an eyebrow, eyeing you with a look that knows something’s up. “You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something,” he jokes, though his concern is genuine.
You laugh softly, shaking your head. “I’m fine, just… one of those days.” You try to brush it off, but the boys are too perceptive.
“Well,” Niall says, giving you an exaggerated wink, “seems like someone was quick to swoop in and save the day.” His eyes flicker to Zayn, who’s just standing off to the side, arms folded as he watches the interaction with his usual calm demeanor.
Harry laughs and nudges Zayn. “Looks like someone’s got your back, mate.”
You try to ignore the heat creeping up your neck as the teasing starts. You glance at Zayn, his posture casual, but there’s a glimmer in his eye that you’re not sure if you should be worried about.
“Don’t start,” you warn, though the words lack their usual edge. You can feel your heart skip a beat at the thought of what’s been simmering between you and Zayn lately.
But the boys aren’t backing down. Louis grins, shaking his head. “So, is there a special reason Zayn’s the first one to swoop in, or are we just lucky today?”
You roll your eyes, though the smile tugging at your lips betrays the fact that you’re trying to keep it together. “I’m fine, really. Zayn just didn’t want me to look like an idiot in front of all of you,” you say, the banter coming more naturally now, despite the lingering emotions from earlier.
Zayn doesn’t respond right away, but his expression softens just slightly. He glances your way and offers a small, quiet smile—barely noticeable, but it’s there. The others catch it, though, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Is there something going on here?” Liam says with a teasing grin, eyeing the pair of you. He leans in toward Niall, whispering loud enough for everyone to hear. “I think we’ve got some chemistry brewing. Look at them.”
You feel your face heat up again, and you glance at Zayn, who seems unfazed by the attention, but you catch a slight shift in his stance—a subtle tension that’s never been there before.
“Stop it,” you say quickly, trying to deflect, but your tone is a little less forceful than usual. “There’s nothing going on, okay?”
“Right,” Harry says, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he crosses his arms. “Nothing at all. Just a little ‘hero rescue’ moment, is that it?”
The group bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but chuckle along, even though you’re not sure whether you should feel embarrassed or flattered. The teasing doesn’t stop, but there’s something different in the air now. It’s as if everyone’s starting to pick up on the subtle shifts between you and Zayn, the unspoken tension that neither of you has fully addressed.
Zayn stays quiet through it all, his arms crossed as he leans against the wall, his gaze flicking between you and the boys. He doesn’t join in the teasing, but the small smile that tugs at his lips tells you he’s aware of it. He knows what they’re getting at. And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t mind it so much anymore.
“Alright, alright,” Lou says, laughing at the exchange. “We’ve got a show to get ready for, yeah?”
But as everyone goes back to preparing for the night ahead, you can’t help but notice that the teasing hasn’t really stopped. It’s subtle now, though, more of a knowing glance here and there, a comment made just loud enough for the two of you to hear. It’s like the boys have figured it out—there’s something between you and Zayn, even if it hasn’t been fully acknowledged yet.
The dressing room hums with the usual pre-show energy—hairbrushes, makeup palettes, and chatter filling the space. You’re darting between the boys, fixing hair and smoothing stray strands, trying to keep the chaos under control. Lou stepped out a while ago, trusting you to finish up, but you’re starting to think she might have left you to fend for yourself on purpose.
“Nearly done, Harry,” you say, running your fingers through his curls to set the final piece.
“Thanks, love,” he replies, grinning at you in the mirror. Then, with an exaggerated stretch, he stands and grabs his jacket. “Think I’ll grab some water before we head out.”
You glance at him in surprise. “You don’t need a touch-up or anything?”
He waves you off. “I’m flawless, darling. You know that.” He winks, strolling toward the door.
“Subtle, Harry,” Louis mutters as Harry slips out.
“I’m getting coffee,” Louis announces next, his tone far too casual to be convincing. He’s already halfway out the door before you can respond.
Niall follows with a cheeky grin. “Might grab something to eat.”
“Think I’ll check on the stage,” Liam adds, standing and stretching.
Your brow furrows. “All of you, at once?”
None of them answer, though Liam shoots you a knowing smile before disappearing into the hallway.
The door clicks shut, leaving you alone with Zayn. The silence is deafening in their absence. You glance at him in the mirror, catching the way his eyes flicker to yours and linger.
Your heart begins to race, and you turn back to your station, pretending to fuss with a comb. “Guess it’s just us then,” you say, your voice too light to sound casual.
He doesn’t reply at first, but you feel the weight of his gaze. “Yeah,” he finally murmurs.
The tension in the room is thick, the air charged in a way it hasn’t been before. It’s been a week since the kiss at the bar—a week of stolen glances, quiet moments, and a magnetic pull you’ve both been ignoring.
When you finally meet his eyes again, his expression is unreadable, but his lips part as if he’s about to say something.
“Zayn…” You don’t even know what you’re about to say, but the words don’t matter.
He stands, moving toward you slowly, deliberately. “I’ve been thinking about that night,” he says softly.
Your throat tightens. “Me too,” you admit, barely above a whisper.
The distance between you shrinks. His hand brushes yours, his touch light and hesitant, like he’s giving you a chance to pull away. But you don’t. Instead, your breath catches as he tilts his head, his gaze locked on yours.
When his lips finally meet yours, it’s like a spark igniting. His mouth is warm, firm yet gentle, and he tastes faintly of spearmint gum. The kiss starts slow, testing the waters, but when you respond, his hands slide to your waist, pulling you closer.
The world narrows to the two of you—the faint hum of the dressing room lights, the subtle scratch of his stubble against your skin, the way his fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt. Your own hands move instinctively, tangling in his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingers.
His kiss deepens, more urgent now, and you’re vaguely aware of the counter pressing into your back, grounding you. His lips trail from yours for a moment, brushing the corner of your mouth before returning, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
You lose track of time, the kiss consuming every thought, every sensation—until the door creaks open.
“Seriously?” Louis’s voice cuts through the haze like a bucket of ice water.
You and Zayn break apart so fast you nearly trip over yourself. Your cheeks burn as you turn to see all four boys standing there, grinning like they’ve just won the lottery.
“I knew it!” Niall crows, pointing at the two of you.
Harry smirks, crossing his arms. “Didn’t think you’d actually do it in the dressing room, though. Bold choice.”
“Oh, come on,” Louis says, clearly enjoying himself. “This tension’s been unbearable. You two were practically begging to be caught.”
You groan, covering your face with your hands as your embarrassment bubbles over. Zayn doesn’t move far, though. His hand stays on your waist, steadying you, and when you glance up at him, there’s a flicker of amusement in his expression.
“You all planned this, didn’t you?” you demand, your voice muffled behind your hands.
“Maybe,” Liam says with an innocent shrug, though his grin gives him away.
“Doesn’t matter, though,” Louis says, smirking. “We’re just glad it finally happened.”
You groan again, but as Zayn’s hand lingers on your waist and his thumb brushes a small, comforting circle, you can’t help but feel like the teasing might just be worth it.
The boys are still grinning like a pack of mischievous schoolchildren, their delight at catching you and Zayn mid-makeout entirely too obvious.
“Alright, alright,” Zayn mutters, stepping slightly in front of you as if to shield you from the onslaught of teasing. His voice is low but firm, though the corner of his mouth twitches like he’s trying not to smile. “You’ve had your fun. Leave it.”
“Oh no, mate,” Louis says, leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed and smirk firmly in place. “This is gold. We’re not letting this one slide so easily.”
Harry winks at you. “We were wondering how long it’d take for you two to finally crack.”
Your cheeks burn hotter, but you manage to find your voice. “Okay, fine! Yes, we kissed. Happy now?”
Louis arches a brow, his smirk widening. “Kissed? As in, just now, or—” He pauses for effect, dragging it out. “Have there been… other moments we should know about?”
Zayn tenses slightly beside you, and you glance at him. There’s an unspoken question in his eyes, like he’s asking if it’s okay to share. You sigh, deciding there’s no point in hiding it now. “There was… one other time,” you admit, your voice quieter. “At the bar. A week ago.”
The room erupts into laughter and groans of mock disbelief.
“You mean to tell us,” Niall starts, pointing between you and Zayn, “you’ve been sneaking around for a week and didn’t say a word?”
Liam shakes his head, chuckling. “No wonder things have felt so off. The tension was starting to get unbearable.”
“You’re telling me,” Harry says, throwing up his hands. “We’ve all been walking on eggshells thinking something was up. Turns out, it’s this.”
Louis whistles, leaning back against the wall like he’s settling in for a good story. “And here I thought Zayn was the mysterious one. Looks like you’ve both been keeping secrets.”
You groan, rubbing your forehead as the embarrassment bubbles up. “It’s not like that,” you mumble.
“It’s not?” Harry teases, arching a brow. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks very much like that.”
“We haven’t even talked about it yet,” Zayn cuts in, his voice calm but firm. The boys all quiet down slightly at his words, their teasing smirks softening into looks of mild curiosity.
You glance at him, surprised by his honesty but grateful for it. “Yeah,” you add, shifting awkwardly. “We haven’t… figured anything out. It’s just—” You gesture vaguely between the two of you. “We’re still trying to make sense of it.”
Louis raises a brow, looking thoroughly unconvinced. “Trying to make sense of it, huh? Is that what you were doing just now?”
The room fills with laughter again, and you groan, covering your face with your hands.
“Alright, enough,” Zayn says, his tone carrying just enough weight to silence the chaos. “You’ve had your fun. Now give it a rest.”
Louis raises his hands in surrender, though his smirk remains. “Fine. But don’t think this is the last we’ll talk about it.”
With a chorus of knowing chuckles, the boys start to shuffle back into the room, resuming their pre-show routine. As the teasing dies down, you finally allow yourself to breathe, glancing up at Zayn.
“Well, that was mortifying,” you whisper, your voice barely audible above the commotion.
Zayn leans closer, his lips curving into a faint, reassuring smile. “Could’ve been worse,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. “At least they didn’t walk in earlier.”
You laugh despite yourself, and the sound seems to ease some of the lingering tension. His thumb brushes one last circle on your waist before he finally steps away, giving you space.
But as the boys’ playful chatter fills the room again, you can’t help but notice the way Zayn’s gaze lingers on you from across the room—like even in a crowded space, you’re the only one he sees. And judging by the flutter in your chest, you’re starting to feel the exact same way.
The next morning the knock at your hotel room door comes just as you’re grabbing your jacket. Startled, you glance at the clock—it’s still early, barely past seven. Pushing down your curiosity, you open the door, and there he is.
Zayn stands in the hallway, his hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie, his hair slightly tousled like he’s been running his fingers through it. In his other hand, he’s holding two coffee cups.
“Morning,” he says, his voice soft and a little hesitant.
“Morning.” You blink at him, surprised to see him here, especially so early. “What are you doing here?”
He lifts one of the cups, offering it to you. “Brought you coffee. Figured you might need it before you head out.”
Your chest tightens as you take the cup from him. One sip confirms it—he’s remembered your exact order. The gesture is so small, yet it sends a warmth spreading through you.
“Thanks,” you say, stepping aside. “Do you want to come in?”
He hesitates for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. I—yeah.”
You step back, letting him inside. The room is quiet, save for the faint hum of the air conditioning. Zayn looks around briefly before settling on the edge of the chair by the window, his shoulders tense.
You sit on the edge of the bed, cradling your coffee. The silence between you is thick but not uncomfortable, more like it’s brimming with unspoken words.
Zayn exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about this. About us,” he says finally, his voice quiet but steady.
Your heart skips a beat, but you don’t interrupt.
“I’m not good at this,” he admits, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Letting people in. Trusting them. It’s… hard for me. Always has been.” He looks up at you, his eyes raw with honesty. “That’s why I’ve been so stand-offish. It wasn’t because of you. It was me trying to protect myself.”
You swallow, his words cutting straight to your heart. “Zayn…”
“But you,” he continues, his voice softening, “you make it hard to keep those walls up. You’re… sunshine. You light everything up just by walking into a room, and I didn’t know how to handle that at first.”
Your breath catches, your chest tightening at his confession.
“I’m scared,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I don’t want to keep shutting you out. I want to try. Really try. I want to be with you—for real.”
For a moment, you’re too stunned to respond. His vulnerability, his honesty—it’s everything you’ve been waiting for, and it fills you with a kind of warmth you didn’t know you needed.
“You’re scared,” you say finally, your voice gentle. “But you’re still here. That says a lot.”
Zayn’s lips curve into a small, tentative smile. “I guess it does.”
You set your coffee down on the nightstand and stand, moving to sit beside him. “You’re not the only one who’s scared,” you admit. “This isn’t… easy for me either. But I think we balance each other out, you know? You’re the calm when I’m all over the place, and maybe I can be the sunshine when you need it.”
He looks at you, his gaze softening, and you feel your chest tighten again. “I don’t just need it,” he says quietly. “I want it. I want you.”
You smile, reaching out to take his hand. “I want you too.”
The air between you shifts, the tension easing into something softer, sweeter. Zayn leans in, his hand lifting to gently cup your cheek. “You’re my sunshine,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss is slow and tender, a promise wrapped in warmth. His hand slides into your hair, holding you close as your lips move together in perfect harmony. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you in this moment.
When you finally pull back, your foreheads rest together, your breaths mingling in the quiet.
“Guess that makes this official, huh?” you say softly, a teasing lilt to your voice.
Zayn chuckles, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
And as he pulls you into another kiss, you can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this is the start of something incredible.
Author’s note: I really enjoyed this one! Let me know if you’d like a part 2 or have similar requests💛
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liminalpsych · 2 days ago
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Queer Reading of the Vulgate Cycle pt 1: Preface
Some context on 1. this readthrough and 2. the Vulgate Cycle in general!
I've read large chunks of the Vulgate Cycle all out of order, sporadically, but I haven't read it from cover-to-cover yet. I want to remedy that, though I want to read it through a queer lens. (Also a trauma psychology lens, but I don't have a good shorthand term for that.)
The Vulgate Cycle (aka the Lancelot-Grail Cycle, the Prose Lancelot, or the Pseudo-Map Cycle) is an Arthurian romance composed between 1215 and 1235-ish, by Anonymous. Who may have been one person, but more likely was multiple authors. (I'm in the "multiple authors" camp, I can see no other explanation for the dramatic tone shift of The Quest for the Holy Grail. Or the History of the Holy Grail, for that matter.)
It's a massive text. It attempts to "elaborate the full story of the Arthurian era and to set that era in a framework of universal history" (so writes Norris J. Lacy in the preface to the translation).
The History of the Holy Grail (originally the "Estoire del saint Graal") - actually one of the last sections to be written, even if its contents come first chronologically. Traces the early history of the Grail and Grail-keepers. Lots of Bible fanfic bits in this one. My least favorite section (I find it tedious and dull).
The Story of Merlin - also one of the last sections to be written. Focuses on Merlin and his role in Arthur's conception, birth, and coronation. Also focuses on Arthur's early days as king, and some of his early knights (young Orkney brothers!), and Arthur's early relationship with Guinevere (back when things were really good between them).
Lancelot Proper (aka Le Roman de Lancelot, Lancelot propre, or just "Lancelot du Lac") - Lancelot's life and adventures (and everyone else's adventures that end up vaguely connected to him) from birth until… right before the Grail quest. Divided into 3-6 parts by modern scholars (Lacy divides it into 6, so that's what I'll be going with).
The Quest for the Holy Grail (La Queste del saint Graal) - My second-least-favorite section; it's less tedious and dull than the History, but it's such a departure from the tone of the rest of the Vulgate Cycle, and it feels like a text designed to convert people to Christianity (and that may indeed have been its intended purpose). It's possible that the tone shift might be because each sectio nhad a different translator, but I don't think that explains it sufficiently.
The Death of Arthur (La Mort Artu) - the most readable section, imho, and probably my favorite. It promptly unravels all the purity nonsense that Quest put into place (feels like when a show gets a new showrunner for a season, and then the old showrunner gets the reins back a season later and is doing damage control on all the weird turns that the interim showrunner took), Lancelot and Guinevere get back together, and the story leaps into intense drama and beautiful tragedy.
Then there's the Post-Vulgate, which is basically just a grimdark and more religious rewrite of the Vulgate, minus the Lancelot Proper. Lots more Grail focus. I don't know if I'll do a readthrough of it or not.
The specific translation notes in the Preface are fascinating, and I highly recommend them (I love translation notes), but the most relevant bit is this:
"…the translators have tried to steer a middle course. Our primary concern was to present a reliable and readable text to modern readers, but we have also made an effort to retain a certain number of the stylistic features of the Old French romances, provided those features were reasonably compatible with the characteristics of modern English usage.
Lacy warns the reader that the History of the Holy Grail has "a convoluted, dense style" far more than most texts of the period. (It's so tedious, do not recommend.) "The author appears to be far more concerned with substance and symbolism… than with concision and grace." They've cleaned up the text in some places but overall kept the characteristics of the style. If this is the more accessible version, I would not want to read a literal direct translation. D:
Next up: Introduction (more translation notes) to the History of the Holy Grail.
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neon-wool · 6 hours ago
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Short answer: Buy them yourself or ask your dad, either should be fine. Asking your mum to buy something for your dad’s house sounds more likely to cause drama in an already tense situation.
Long answer: Anon, it sounds like you’ve had a difficult upbringing, and I feel for you. Obviously I don’t know you, so take everything I'm about to write with a big pinch of salt... take anything that resonates and ignore the rest.
It sounds like you’ve formed some pretty intense anxiety around relationships that's affecting your daily life. For most people, buying posters for their room would be a very simple issue that requires almost no thought. They'd never think to ask permission for something they were paying for, and there would be no pressure to open up about liking the tv show in advance, just in case a parent's feelings were hurt. They'd talk about the show if they happened to feel like it, or not, without thinking much of it.
However for you it sounds like there's a strong fear of judgement from your dad if you admit to liking the show, but on the flipside you worry not telling him in advance could somehow hurt him, make him feel betrayed, or undermine your relationship. Most people wouldn't have these worries at all. Has he given you a reason to think he's that judgemental or fragile? Or is it possible you're catastrophising?
Looking at the level of intensity you’re applying to the situation, it seems to me this isn’t really about the tv show or the poster at all. Perhaps the strong emotions are about how you’d like to connect more with your dad and feel closer to him. There may also be some amount of underlying trauma from your upbringing, which sounds like it had some significant issues.
My advice is: be kind to yourself, and try to take the pressure off for now. Your dad is very unlikely to be hurt by you buying a poster. What’s important is finding ways to connect to your loved-ones and feel cared for, and exploring complicated emotions about your childhood. That takes time.
From what you wrote, it sounds like your dad does actually take an interest in your hobbies when you bring them up, and you generally do feel he’s quite supportive. That’s a good thing, and more than some people have with their parents. The main problem you have right now is that he doesn’t approach you first, and he doesn’t open up about himself much either. You also feel he has an outdated view of you and still sees you as a child.
Sometimes it takes active communication to shift your relationships forward in the direction you want them to go. Sometimes parents have their own issues, or just lack social skills, so they may not realise how their words and actions are affecting you. If you think his view of you is stuck in the past, and you want him to see you as who you are now, then you're going to need to have the courage to assert yourself as who you are now.
If talking to him about this show is causing a lot of anxiety I won't push you to do that immediately. But I would suggest you look again at that fear. You said in the past he's been supportive when you talked about your interests, and you know the idea of him thinking the show is too weird/violent is unlikely since he already enjoys that kind of show himself. Putting that together it's hard to see why you're so afraid of mentioning this to him, perhaps this fear is a result of the chronic overthinking you mentioned.
Let's play out the worst-case scenario: you tell him, and he says "oh that's a pretty violent show, it's not for me" or he just doesn't understand why you like it... why is that such a problem? It's ok for him to see that you are an adult with your own taste, which might not always match his. Doesn't sound like there's anything seriously problematic about the show. How would it feel to just sit with the fact that you like it, and he might not like it, and that's ok? Having different taste in tv shows isn't going to mean he stops liking you as a person.
If this whole subject causes you intense stress, and you have anxiety about the relationship being damaged by small things like this, I think that's something you need to take note of, and perhaps get some outside support for.
However if you feel able to, I’d recommend taking a deep breath and just telling him about the show, in a casual way, just for the sake of opening up. It sounds like the odds of him enjoying it too are pretty decent! And if he isn't into it, maybe you could be ok with that. I'd also recommend the idea (when you feel ready) of just telling him, in a positive way, that you enjoy talking to him about your interests, you want to learn more about his interests too, and you’d like to have a good friendship and get to know him more as you become an adult.
Eventually, if you feel closer to him over time, you might feel able to open up about the distance and ‘privacy’ your parents kept in childhood, and how this has affected you. There might be some difficult emotions to process there. Parents have their own baggage, and can be very stuck in their own perspective. If you continue building on the relationship and trust you have with him now, there might be more space for him to reflect on those issues in the future, in a way that would be healing for both of you.
Navigating family relationships can be very complicated. Sometimes you feel someone has hurt you, but it wasn’t intentional, so what do you do with that hurt? Do they even realise they hurt you? Perhaps they do love you and do make an effort, but is that enough? Could they have done more? Will they ever see or acknowledge or make amends for the hurt they caused? Perhaps you wish you could be closer, and perhaps you really wish they would be the one to reach out first, you really wish they would just ‘get it’ and grow of their own accord… but wishing won’t change the situation. Maybe you'll be the one who has to set things in motion and push for growth, even though you didn't cause the situation. Life is messy. Growth is messy. It can be hard to know exactly what you want, or how to achieve it. But there's time, it doesn't all need to happen straight away.
I can’t answer any of these questions, or even know if they're the right questions for you. Finding a healthy balance can be hard. It’s up to each individual to judge their own situation, their own sense of fairness and hurt, and how much effort is worth putting into a relationship. Of course, parents hold the responsibility of forming healthy relationships with their children as they grow up, not the other way round. Sometimes they really fail at that job. Other times it’s a complex mixture of good and bad. Even with genuine effort there are many things which hold people back, people have their own traumas, everyone has their own narrow perspective. You can have sympathy for your parents’ limitations, and be willing to work with them and have patience, but simultaneously accept that you've always deserved to feel loved and safe and supported, and maybe you didn't always get that. The sacrifices and effort shouldn’t all be on your side.
As you become an adult, you have more choices about how you interact with your parents, and more agency in how you handle the relationship. Again, without knowing your situation I can’t say for sure, but just from what you’ve written here… my advice would be to take it slow, and try not to over-analyse every little thing. Don't try to come up with all the answers straight away. Instead, step back and look at the big picture of your upbringing and parental relationships, both the good and the bad.
Maybe start writing a journal about it, just noting down any thoughts that come up and letting yourself vent. A well-hidden private journal is great because it gives you space to try out lots of random thoughts and ideas, and see what actually makes sense. You don’t have to judge what you write, or draw any conclusions. You can write whatever pops into your head, and then ask “is this really what I feel? Does this make sense to me?” Then you can re-read it months later, suddenly see something you didn’t before, and a new piece clicks into place.
Good luck anon, I hope you find a way forward over time, and I hope you enjoy the posters!
This is not a yes/no poll but I don’t know who else to consult.
My parents and I are not close. I'm closer with my dad, but he doesn't know about any of my interests due to the way me and my sister were taught about 'privacy' growing up. I am not close with my mum at all and I only talk to her when I have to.
When me and my sister were growing up, we were not told any of our parents' interests/hobbies, and were always told not to look at what people were doing. I think this is what led us to both be so hidden(?) from our parents, and is why this problem exists in the first place.
My dad doesn’t really buy anything for me, nor does he try to learn about my interests (but he will listen when he does learn about them. He likes that I like stuff, he just doesn’t actively seek that information out). My mum is the one who will buy me things, but it’s gotten to the point where she is just buying me junk for the sake of trying to keep a relationship with me and then holding that fact over my head (I have told her to stop, she hasn’t).
I want to buy a few posters for my favourite show for my bedroom at my dads house (my parents are divorced). I currently do not have a credit/debit card as I lost it a few months ago, however I am going to go get a new one on the 18th of this month, but I would preferably like to place the order before school starts again (for reference, all these options are online orders).
I have a few options on how to acquire the posters, and I’m not sure how to go about it.
Ask my mum to buy them for me.
She will buy me things I don’t want related to this show for the next 10 years, even after I inevitably lose interest in it. She’ll also be extremely upset that I’m putting them up at my dad’s house, and not hers. However I don’t care about her opinion on my interests as much.
Ask my dad to buy them for me.
I do not want to do this one, purely because of the completely irrational fear I have that he’ll think the show is weird, or violent (again, completely irrational. He is the biggest nerd you’ll meet, he’s probably even watched the show before and enjoyed it. It’ll just be awkward and I’m an overthinker). His opinion means a lot to me, and although he’s supportive of me in every sense, I think he still views me as a little kid (I’m 18), hence why I’m worried to tell him about my interests. I do want him to know about my interests in the long term though, and I want to be able to tell him things about me and not be scared about it, but I’m not sure if diving headfirst into this is the right way to go about it (for my own sake).
Wait until the 18th and buy them myself.
This one would be fine, but I’m a little worried that my dad will be confused when they show up for me. He would also have to find out about the posters/my interests in a surprise! Kind of way, which is a little awkward and it might hurt his feelings that he wasn’t asked. This will also be after school starts again, which I would prefer to get them before then. However I think this is the option that’ll give me the least anxiety in the short-term, but probably more as I wait for them to arrive.
I have consulted my sister and she is no help whatsoever.
Thank you for reading this behemoth of an ask, and thank you for any advice you might have (and I understand if this is not submitted to the public as it's not a yes/no question).
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araneitela · 8 months ago
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There is something here. It's staring me right in the face.
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If the Nihility represents the primal fear of life.
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Then behind this shadow, there must exist the most fervent source of light [...]
And then 2.2 has also confirmed that there are different 'entities' or rather, 'deities' that aren't Aeons/Gods, but are above Emanators. Can I have Kafka stand in front of Acheron, please? I just crave to test a theory. It'd be such a quick and in theory, easy test to do, but it would also reveal literally way too much if not everything, so I understand, but also I just need to know. I want to know if I'm right. But I also understand that I can't be told whether I am or not.
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lesbienneanarchiste · 7 months ago
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So tired of complaining so just insert one of my many repetitive boring ass posts about how lonely and exhausted and ugly I am here to save all of us the time
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aliteralgrizzlybear · 2 years ago
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It's so fucking absurd that my brain Fucking Insists that I want to see other people put actual effort into showing me that I'm loved and wanted in the world, but when they do that, my brain labels it as Performance or just straight up Uncomfortable or some bullshit, And Thus Invalid
My brain wants people to find me sexy and act on their attraction toward me, but when they do that I'm squicked the fuck out or again it's seen as Something I Had To Ask For, And Thus Invalid, as if it is humanly possible to get the things you want from other people without saying actual words to other people at some point to indicate what you want so that they can do the things you want them to do
My brain wants the experience of Being Loved but it's never done in Just The Right Way so it's never a positive experience in my brain, and my brain can't articulate whatever the hell Just The Right Way might actually be outside of magically perfect and thus impossible. Fucking amateur hour in here
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kbwrites · 6 months ago
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The Lord's Favorite CH.3
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Synopsis: “And there you were, lying underneath the terrifying king, a man of immense power and ruthless intent, who would watch the world burn on a whim.”
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⚝content: trueform!Sukuna x f! reader, nsfw, mild language, voyeurism, sukuna has two cocks, pure smut, gentle sukuna
⚝wc: 2.2k
⚝a/n: please the messages I’ve been getting from this series have been so unhinged?? I love it
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“I believe your presence is precisely what I crave.”
And you swear your brain ceases to function. When you regain awareness, you find yourself against the black silken sheets of Ryomen Sukuna’s enormous bed. The air is thick with the scent of incense, and the dim light from flickering candles casts long shadows across the room. And there you were, lying underneath the terrifying king, a man of immense power and ruthless intent, who would watch the world burn on a whim.
He looks down at you, two of his strong arms gripping your hips, the rough pads of his fingers digging painfully into your flesh. Your gaze flickers down to his body, taking in the sight of his rippling muscles, flexing with each subtle movement. His broad chest rises and falls at a steady pace, a stark contrast to the thunderous beating of your own heart. His crimson eyes hold a possessiveness, the gaze of a predator stalking its prey, intense and unyielding.
Ryomen Sukuna was alreadyterrifying fully clothed, but his naked form elicited a different fear in you altogether. Two thick cocks stood proud and eager. You try to take in every detail, thick veins running up the sides, flushed angry red tips dripping pre-cum down his monstrous shaft. Your breath catches in your throat, all of your saliva drying up as you force a swallow. His lips curl into a smile that sends shivers down your spine. He lowers his head to your ear, his breath searingly hot against your skin.
“You are aware I do not like waiting.” He growls.
“W… what would you like me to do My Lord?” The uncertainty in your tone is evident. He pulls back slightly, his gaze piercing through you with a mixture of disbelief and dark amusement.
Yes, you were younger than the other women in the castle, most of whom had come to serve after being widowed or hardened by life. But he assumed you’d had some knowledge. He had no need for concubines with no experience, anyone else who would dare enter his chambers without it would be swiftly dealt with. ‘Training pets’ was of no interest to him. But he couldn’t seem to ignore the way his cocks twitched at the thought of being the one who would ruin you. With a swift, almost effortless motion, his four powerful arms shift your position. Within the span of a heartbeat, he flips you over so that you find yourself straddling him, the change in position startlingly abrupt.
You’re momentarily paralyzed, a jolt of panic surging through you. What exactly were you supposed to do now? Theoretically, you knew what was expected, the steps that were supposed to follow, but… how?
༺═────────────═༻
On occasion, you found yourself wide awake during the night, the sound of the bed frame creaking and exaggerated moans muffled through the door connecting your room to Sukuna’s. Of course, Curiosity, that dangerous and ever-present impulse, got the better of you—and you innocently pressed your ear to the door. And of course, your eyes found their way to a convenient crack in the dark mahogany.
‘You should be ashamed, spying on your king’
You cursed yourself as you watched him. He laid on the bed, a woman—who you’d seen enter his chambers multiple times was bouncing up and down on his length. Crying out as her hands rested atop his broad chest. Two arms guided her hips and the other two rested behind his head. Her loud moans of pleasure, a stark contrast between his low grunts. Your hand clasps over your mouth, suppressing your gasps as your own hand reached under your nightgown.
The sounds of skin slapping, squelching, and the woman’s theatrical wails acted as cover to your own quiet moans. As it continues Ryomen's head suddenly turns to the side, eye locking directly onto the door. A menacing smile spreads across his lips. Your blood runs cold as you make direct eye contact with your lord.
You cease your movements, tiptoeing back to your bed. Squeezing your thighs together, to desperately cool the unbearable heat.
“My…. lord… what are you looking at?” She gasps in between thrusts. You only hear a slap before covering your ears and praying it was just coincidence his eyes fell on that part of the room.
And from his lack of mention, you thought you had gotten away with it.
༺═────────────═༻
And now you sit between his two muscular legs, the same way you saw that woman do. Staring down his two thick members. A shaky hand wraps around one, unable to grip him fully. A soft moan escapes his lips as you feel his cock twitch under your touch. You begin to pump slowly, your movements hesitant. 
“Don’t..act so coy, I know you’ve seen this before.” And your heart drops in your stomach. You search for an excuse, a denial, but they all die in your throat. He only grins in response, looking at you through half-lidded eyes. One arm reaches behind your head, gently pushing your face mere inches away from his throbbing length. Your eyes flicker up to him then back down to his angry red tip, after a deep shaky breath you gather some spit in your mouth allowing it to flow onto him. He groans at the sensation, hand gripping your hair tightly. 
You loll your tongue out, smearing the spit and pre-cum around his tip. Your other hand wraps around as well. Sukuna growls as your mouth engulfs him, tongue swirling around his head. He pushes your head down slowly, your mouth stretching at his size. Tears well up in your eyes as he hits the back of your esophagus, sinful gagging noises emanate from your throat. He hums amused.
“This view suits you…” He chuckles lowly as his hands guide your head up and down his shaft. He sets the pace, before letting go of your head. You look up at him through your fluttering eyelashes, the tears pooling in your eyes. Sukuna lies against the plush pillow, hands giving attention to his aching second cock. His breath hitches as his hips buck up, his length pushing even deeper into your throat. A sudden feeling of choking causes you to come up for air, coughing as oxygen finally enters your lungs again. A wave of embarrassment washes over you. 
How pathetic you must look to your king, not even able to provide him with pleasure.
Ryomen grabs your waist, pulling you back under him. His eyes, darken as he pushes his body closer to you. A low thunderous rumble reverberates from his throat as his spit-soaked length finds friction against your stomach. You feel your own arousal pool between your legs as you are overwhelmed with a dangerous mix of fear and desire.
His lips capture yours in a rough kiss, sharp teeth baring down on your bottom lip as his tongue explores your mouth. Your soft moans are swallowed by him as his strong hands roam your naked body. He parts from the kiss, a trail of spit still connecting you two. He looks upon your panting form, without a second thought diving into your neck nipping and sucking at the delicate skin. Two hands grope your breasts, rolling the swollen buds between his fingers. He squeezes gently as you whimper under him, moving his mouth to encircle your nipple. The heat between your core nearing unbearable.
“My.. lord… p-please..” You cry out, his teeth graze your nipple, a warning. He huffs against your skin.
“Do not rush me, woman.” His mouth moves to your other breast. Staring up at the high, ornately decorated ceiling of Ryomen’s chambers, you find yourself drifting into a daze. Suddenly coming to when you feel a rough hand reach between your wet folds. Sukuna purrs lowly, gathering your slick between his fingers. Your gaze meets his once more, you desperately squirm against his hand.
“Already so eager… surely you realize you’ll break if I try to fuck you.” His voice laced with playful menace as his fingers tease your entrance. Your vision hazes as you look up at your king, your bruised lips part taking in shaky breaths in anticipation.
One thick finger enters, pumping into you slowly as you feel your whole body turn to jelly. Sukuna chuckles darkly as you writhe under him, he adds another thick digit giving you just a second to adjust to the slight stretch. You feel a pressure building in your abdomen, similar to the one you felt the night you spied on your king.
“You’re close, aren’t you… How disappointing it's just from my fingers.” He coos bringing his other hand to your throbbing clit. He speeds up his ministrations, slipping in a third finger to bring you closer to the edge. A slight curve upwards is all it takes for your sinful walls to clench around his fingers, your back arches as you are delivered to a place you’ve never been before. The unfamiliar feeling of orgasm, the pleasure of release washes over your body.
Ryomen removes his fingers from you, watching as your hole flutters around nothing, he brings the slick-coated fingers to his mouth, tongue darting out to taste the fruits of his labor. You catch your breath as you feel his weight pushing you deeper into the sheets. His crimson eyes bore holes in your soul as he looks down at you with pure hunger in his gaze. One of his cocks rubs between your folds, gathering your arousal. A flash of hesitation crosses your face.
“I do not expect you to take both your first time.” He attempts reassurance. His cockhead rubs up and down, kissing your clit before pushing into your hole. 
He growls as he slowly enters you, feeling the warmth of your walls enveloping him. You wince at the stretch, tears pricking your eyes. His hand reaches to cup your face, thumb wiping away the tears as they fall. He hushes your cries with a gentleness previously unknown to him.
“Relax little one… I hnng am going as slow as possible.” He moans as more of his length is surrounded by you. The way your warm walls clench around his thick cock makes his eyes roll, you were so tight, a temptress made to bring him to his knees. A vision of utter seduction. Buried deep in your pussy, you could ask anything and surely he’d grant every one of your desires. “You.. fucking minx.” He curses as his tip kisses your cervix.
Your hands claw at his chiseled chest as you feel him reach the depths of your cavern. 
“Lord Sukuna! T’much!” Your words come out jumbled and slurred as he begins to thrust into you. His pace slow, painfully so. His face etched with utter concentration as he tries to control his urge to split you open. With each long stroke, you feel every vein as he drags along your walls. Feeling deliciously full as King Sukuna pumps purposefully into your cunt.
“F…Faster please my lord..” You whisper shamelessly, his eyebrow quirks up in amusement.
“You dare…order your king?” He sneers, picking up the pace anyway. His hips stutter as he feels your cunt squeeze around him. Sukuna pulls you up to him, now resting on his heels as his two strong arms hold your back and the others hold your hips in place. Your arms snake around his neck supporting yourself as he pistons into you.
His thrusts become less rhythmic as he nears his breaking point. He grunts louder, his breath quickening.
“You belong to me… fuck… you hear me woman?  All mine. Mineminemine...” He groans and babbles as he delivers one last thrust, his cock twitching as he paints your walls with his hot sticky seed. Your back arches in his hold as you reach your climax. He watches as your body convulses, melting like putty into his hands. He lowers you back onto the mattress, watching as your chest heaves. He slides his cock out of you, still semi-hard now covered in a mixture of your slick and his cum.
You take in the sight above you: his slightly damp pink hair, tattooed arms now bearing tiny welts from your scratches. And the look on his face—his red eyes nearly black from arousal. Gods, you wished you could take a picture, a snapshot burned into your brain for eternity.
He sinks into the space next to you, catching his breath. You are quiet for a moment, mind still reeling from the events that just transpired. Should you stay? Were you meant to just up and leave after? Unease coils in your chest as you sit up, gathering yourself for the short walk to your room before you hear his voice again.
“ Where do you think you’re going?” His voice laced with a hint of annoyance. You glance over your shoulder to see him propped up on one of his hands, his gaze dark.
“I thought you’d want me to—”
“You will stay. You will… sleep here with me.” he commands softly, his grip firm yet gentle as he pulls you onto his broad chest. Your ear presses against his pectoral, the strong, steady beat of his heart thrumming through you like a soothing lullaby. You look up at him, his eyes are closed as he rests his hand atop your head. 
“Sleep…” he murmurs, his voice a deep, husky whisper before his soft snores soon rumble in his chest. You close your eyes as well, drifting off as you lay on the man who’d watch the world burn… for you.
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